What Your Favorite Piece of 'He's All That' Spon Says About You
I’m the bowl of Lucky Charms Addison Rae refuses to eat
He’s All That is a gender-swapped remake of the 1999 teen comedy She’s All That, which is an adaptation of 1964’s My Fair Lady, which is based on the 1956 musical of the same name, which is based on George Bernard Shaw’s 1913 play Pygmalion. And somewhere, over the last 108 years of telling this story, it has gone from a five-act play about men using a poverty-stricken woman as a pawn in their own games to an extended commercial for Frito-Lay, Inc. that also sort of has a plot.
I say “sort of” because the “plot” of He’s All That, which premiered on Netflix on August 25th, is negligible. You know how it’s going to end from the moment it begins. TikTok star Addison Rae plays Padgett Sawyer, a teenage influencer whose schtick is that she does makeovers. After hemorrhaging followers due to a snot bubble she had while catching her boyfriend cheating on the set of his music video (which was livestreamed, of course) she needs to find a new makeover project.
She sets her sights on certified loser Cameron Kweller (Tanner Buchanan). Padgett’s friend Alden, whose main trait is that she’s a bitch, bets her that she won’t be able to turn him into prom king. She is right, Cameron does not become prom king, but he does get hotter via a haircut and then rides a horse onto the lawn at school to tell Padgett it’s okay that she used him because they also fell in love.
What happens between the bet and the horse does not actually matter. Much like an actual influencer’s feed, the plot is incidental to the actual point of the movie, which is to sell you things.
Here’s what your favorite piece of He’s All That product placement says about you.
Alo Head-to-Toe Glow Oil
Your skin looks absolutely perfect, and you have your wits about you. If this is your favorite product in the movie, you’re a beautiful genius. This moment happens in the first scene of the movie, so I have to believe that you turned the movie off after five minutes, which is what it deserves.
You have so much to offer to the world, namely money and a diverse portfolio of products to showcase. Fritos, Lays, Doritos, Sun Chips, and Smartfood all make appearances. There were probably more chips to be crunched throughout the runtime of this movie, but I missed them because I had to watch it at 1.25x speed to make it tolerable.
If you’re a Bose girlie, I’m gonna need you to have a little more self-respect. The headphones are barely onscreen, and when they are you can’t really make out the brand until it’s mentioned out loud. Stick up for yourself, Bose!
You love nostalgia. This cereal is brought to Padgett in bed by her mother (Rachel Leigh Cook, who famously got made over by Freddie Prinze Jr. in She’s All That, and now has to play a mom) at her lowest point. They symbolize childhood, a yearning to go back to a time when things were simpler and teen comedies were watchable.
Yum! Brands, Inc.
So sorry to anyone who loved seeing Pizza Hut and KFC on screen, but you are a little desperate. The need to be called out by name not once, but twice, tells me that you don’t trust yourself enough to be recognized by the giant logos made easily visible by the film’s production team. Much like Bose, you need to believe in yourself.
Speaking of Yum! Brands, did you know they have a lifetime agreement with PepsiCo for all of their restaurants? I imagine that’s how they ended up in this movie, with a subtle product moment as the beverage of the movie’s central douchebags. If this was your favorite, you’re a chiller. You’re more than willing to ride in on your sister company’s flashier coattails and only pop in for a moment.
I don’t even know about this one. You are a real mystery to me. Core Water is seen very prominently in this scene, but I don’t think anyone takes a sip and the bottles are left completely full on the table once the characters walk away. You are not smart with money, and need to really make sure that what you want in this life (to be seen being consumed and enjoyed) is made clear to the people around you.
You are a savvy thinker. That the Old Navy website is perused by the only likeable character in the movie (Cameron’s wise-beyond-her-years sister), we learn that smart, sensible people shop at Old Navy. Having been to many 4th of July barbecues, I know this is not true, but I commend them for trying to shape their own narrative.
Girl, what are you doing here? You do not know your place, but in a way that is so brash that it must be applauded. You figured that someone who owns a home must be watching this movie (debatable), and wanted in. You will do anything to put yourself out there, and I respect that.