Every so often when a famously haunted house is listed for sale, we’re forced to wonder: would we purchase a famously haunted house? This time it’s the house from The Conjuring. It’s located in Harrisville, Rhode Island and is currently on sale for — AHHHHHHH! — $1.2 million!
If you don’t know the story of The Conjuring house, I’ll tell you — if you dare. It was built in 1736, and for many decades was the site of all sorts of gruesome activity: murders and suicides and rapes. The “vibes were off,” one might say. One of the previous home owners, Bathsheba Thayer, is said to have killed her baby as a sacrifice to Satan. Damn. She, too, died by suicide on the property.
In 1970, the Perron Family moved in and were immediately confronted with what seemed like ghostly activity. Sorry, are you too scared? Feel free to abandon the post, we’ve already secured your click and that was all we needed. The ghostly activity was at first benign, things being moved around and such. Then it became less benign. Larger things being moved around. Ghosts whispering in the children’s ears about spooky things. The family being physically harassed.
The worst of the ghostly activity was attributed to Bathsheba, who appeared to the family as a woman with a broken neck. And the worst of it happened to Mom Perron, who wrote about the family’s stay in a book that was later made into the 2013 film The Conjuring. She says she was at one point stabbed in the leg, the wound appearing to have been made by a knitting needle. Then she was possessed; speaking in tongues, being tossed around the room, etc.
The family attempted to the-power-of-Christ-compels-you their way out of the hauntings but, according to them, they were unsuccessful. Once they accrued enough money to leave, they did, ten years later. Then, the house was allegedly made into a daycare. An oddly bad decision, you have to agree. Jennifer Heinzen, the most recent owner, talked about that part of its history in a TikTok:
Heinzen says she doesn’t know much about the daycare, but she notes that all the parents withdrew all of the children on the same day, likely because of scary ghosts. She also notes that she found a toy chest in the home’s basement, where the daycare was located, that featured on it children’s drawings of a woman with a broken neck.
The Heinzens bought the house in 2019 for $439,000. It is unclear what makes them think they can now sell it for $1.2 million — (is that why Heinzen did the TikTok about the daycare?) (did she make up the story about the drawings?) (is she attempting to drive up the price for spooky freaks?) — but I have never claimed to understand the housing market. Maybe they’re hoping Zillow buys it in the scary illegal scheme they’re allegedly doing now.
Would we buy it, though? On the plus side:
- Three bedrooms, two bathrooms
- 3,109 square feet
- Rhode Island can be quite beautiful
- You’ll have something to say if you’re at a party and you’re talking in a group of three — you, a person you know, and a person they know — and the person you know leaves to get a drink. You can say, “Ah, well … oh, hey, did you know I live in the Conjuring house?”
- Ghosts could be an interesting distraction from social media
- Maybe you’ll like the ghosts, and they’ll be your friends (though, do you want to live with your friends?)
- You can go to Matunuck Oyster Bar
But on the minus side:
- Price seems wildly inflated
- Not even oceanfront
- You can get this (admittedly less charming) home near the ocean in Narragansett for $1.1 million. It has 5 bedrooms and probably isn’t even haunted (though, should we be buying a home near the ocean?)
- You might get stabbed or possessed by a ghost
- If there’s another lockdown you’ll have to be locked down with ghosts, and you know the New York Times is gonna ask you about it
- I checked on Google Maps and it would take over an hour to drive from the The Conjuring house to Matunuck Oyster Bar
Hm. It’s a toss up for me. I guess I’ll hold my bid for now.