And it's all Chicago's fault.
Mother and her special friend have been married for 10 years. Clearly these were not the best years of her life (those happened with Dead Father) but she has suffered them with grace and for that she deserves to be celebrated. Unfortunately her party was ruined. Let’s see how.
HAS MOTHER DIED?
HOW IS SHE FARING?
Um, she’s okay. She’s feeling a bit useless because Sister won’t let her help with Son or Baby, due to the results of her recent PET scans. In my opinion she should just relax, but she’s being fussy. Luckily she gets to save the day after Son, who is blind, runs away and almost dies.
OH! WHAT BECAME OF SON?
Ugh, it’s sort of a long story. Well — okay, before Sister’s Husband left for his far-away job, he and Sister were having plumbing issues in their kitchen (these represented the issues in their relationship). Sister wanted to pay a plumber to fix them, but Sister’s Husband did not, even though he was warned by Sister’s Husband’s Father that a buildup of water pressure could cause major damage to their home (you’re getting it now).
Sister and Sister’s Husband have been fighting a lot, often in front of Son, who hears them and is affected. But on Saturdays the whole group goes to the park together and, for that moment, they are happy. Sister sings a song to Son each time they go to the park, to the tune of Chicago’s “Saturday in the Park,” except with lyrics about how to get to the park — how many steps, where to stop for cars, etc. She wants Son (who is blind) (not sure if you forgot) to have autonomy and a relationship to his surroundings.
Well, that certainly fucks her, doesn’t it? On the day of Mother’s party, which is being held at Sister’s house, the first-floor ceiling begins to leak, and then the second-floor ceiling begins to leak. Sister and Husband had already been having a difficult day. All Sister’s Husband wants to do is play with his like … barbeque egg, or whatever, and Sister keeps asking him to do things. Now she wants him to help with the leak! My god, will Sister ever leave her husband alone to do what he wants, which is to be alone?!
Sister’s Husband is forced to corral his blind child into his bedroom, but neglects to make sure his baby gate is closed; something Sister has warned him about several times, much to his growing contempt. Well, guess what, bitch? Looks like Sister was right to nag you, because Son takes this opportunity to put on his little red park-going galoshes and go to the park by himself. A blind toddler!
DID SON DIE?
Well, no. He made it to the park and then fell and got a gash on his head, for which he needed stitches. Luckily, Mother noticed his red galoshes were missing. She had a conversation with him earlier during which he told her his red galoshes were only for going to the park, and when she realizes what has happened, she takes off running like a spry Mandy Moore of only 37 years old.
AND WHAT IS THE STATE OF SISTER AND SISTER’S HUSBAND’S MARRIAGE?
MAY I ASK YOU TO EXPOUND?
At the end of the night they had an explosive argument on the front lawn about, you know, all the shit they’re always fighting about (Husband wants to live at his far-away job, Sister wants to live near Mother at home), plus all the stuff about how they almost killed their kid. Husband doesn’t think Sister should have taught him to open the door or get to the park, Sister thinks Husband has never wanted to accept the fact that Son is blind, and has pushed the family away since his birth. Yikes…
WERE BROTHERS THERE?
Oh yeah, they were sent away for the majority of the episode for reasons we don’t need to get into (the takeaway is the mother of Actor Brother’s children is going to get engaged to that nerd she’s dating), but then they come back to Sister’s house at the end to defend her from her horrible husband. There’s also a whole flashback bit about how they defended her in their childhood by locking a babysitter who was rude to her in a bedroom on one of Mother and Undead Father’s anniversaries, while Mother was getting absolutely wasted at dinner on sugary cocktails. We love the brothers. We also love Councilman Brother’s Wife, though again it is not necessary to get into why.
Next week: More of this.