In the hazy weeks after the holidays, what is there to do but watch television? By now you’ve been watching old episodes of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days for 15 days straight.
Oh fuck! You’ve been too conked out to remember to check your work email, which you disabled from your phone in an effort to reconnect with your siblings over the holidays. Oh no, the drama between ill-suited across-the-pond lovers Erika and Stephanie wiped your memory clean — you forgot all about your lucrative career as a Pantone color forecaster and that upcoming Business Insider article on the hues of 2022 you worked so hard to finagle. Mom and Dad, who have been leaving bowls of Easy Mac next to you for two weeks, were so excited for the big reveal. They were going to print out the article and frame it.
And oh my god, the same thing happened to your confidante at WGSN, London’s top trendspotting agency, when tasked with naming the colors of the year.
Think, think, think. Pull from experience. Focus. Hone in on your own interests and observations. What do you love? 90 Day Fiancé, you guess. What is the culture saying? 90 Day Fiancé, your confidante also supposes. Together, you two put up a united front. You’ll call the colors “Very Peri” and “Orchid Flower,” just to zhuzh it up a bit.
The color of 2022 is Erika’s hair, which also resembles a box of Nerds candy. It is now law. Throw out your baby pink and buttery yellow comforter, Hydroflask, plates, chairs, and body pillows. The color is Erika now.