Bad news, frumpy sluts who think they’re on the cutting edge. The New York Times’ always-prophetic Style section has declared that getting dressed during the pandemic is officially back. In a stunning reversal to their brother department New York Times Magazine’s Sweatpants Forever ordinance, regular women like you and me are donning crop tops, puppy print blouses, and oversized white button-downs with bike shorts. One subject, who calls herself a “sustainable maximalist” — who used to only wear black, then pandemic pajamas, and now has a bag with a doll face on it — says expressing yourself is back. We are wearing tights again! What’s old is new, and purchased on Depop! I can’t keep up!
It seems like Styles has been issuing stern decrees on what is back. This has always been the section’s metier, but lately it’s been happening at such a breakneck pace that I’m starting to get a little suspicious. Can anyone just say something’s “back,” so long as they can provide at least four TikToks to their editor to prove the trend? Seems like it, which might be a good Styles piece. Stella Bugbee, if you’re listening, backing up your thesis is back, too!
In just the past handful of months, here is what the Styles section has said is back:
- Contouring your face to make it look more triangular
- Being 25 and blasting cigs as part of a “very sexy and ethereal 1980s revival”
- Erotic gay Polaroid photography
- Moving to the suburbs/talking shit
- Taking an unpaid internship for exposure
- This Tumblr-core image of a lot of books
- The Bee Gees
- Love bombing Julia Fox, and presumably, less hot people too.
- Playing with Barbies like a dumb little baby
- Meeting up with other industry power players at an old Hollywood spot that reminds you of when “movies were still king”
- Murano glass
- Being a brunette
- This Canadian piece of scrap metal, which had been MIA for some time before a travel photographer found it
Looks like I’ve got a lot of inner child work I’ve got to get to.