Every Friday throughout the month of March (Women’s History Month), Gawker will be awarding the prestigious Woman of the Week (For Just One Month) title to the female who has made the most significant contributions to nubility, fertility, and maidenhood in the past seven days.
How is it that we’ve already reached the last Friday of Women’s History Month, during which time we have dedicated ourselves to celebrating nubility, fertility, and maidenhood? Why, it seems like just three weeks we were toasting to the force of brains and beauty that is Chaney Jones. This March has definitely made me reconsider feminism (maybe not cringe?), but it’s almost over, and then I’m no longer contractually obligated to uplift women anymore. And for this, I have you to thank.
You heard that right, girliana. YOU are the Gawker Woman of the Week today. Are you a titan of industry? You are GWotW. Are you the woman who let a baby bird nest in her hair for 84 days? You are also GWotW. Will your body never sufficiently decompose due to microplastics in your blood? You, too, are GWotW. Are you also Chaney Jones? You are GWotW.
See where I’m going with this? When every woman is Gawker Woman of the Week here at Gawker for Girls (and George who is “extremely gay” per New York magazine), everybody wins. And when everybody wins, that drives competition between women, and then women work harder, and then women get better jobs, and then they get to date Kanye, helm a limited series about Walgreens, or get divorced right in time for filming your reality show, for example.
Stay sweet, hons. You are inherently loveable, no matter who you are, if you’re a woman, for one day.