I’ve been thinking about s’mores ever since I saw an episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City last month in which the cast toasts marshmallows around a campfire immediately on the heels of one of their own getting arrested for wire fraud after fleeing from Homeland Security agents descending upon the cast Sprinter van in the Beauty Lab + Laser parking lot. As you may be able to discern even if you don’t watch the show, a lot was going on in this episode. I still barely understand what’s going on, and I spend at least 20 minutes a day on Real Housewives Reddit. But amid all the chaos, those s’mores managed to stand out. Even Meredith Marks’s “dietetic s’more,” which I think was just a regular s’more but a little smaller, looked remarkable.
Since I do not have access to a legal campfire, desperation bred what I thought was brilliant innovation: the sheet pan s’more. But then, after I was fully sated, I Googled “sheet pan s’more” and I realized that mommy bloggers have been making these with their “littles” since time immemorial (2003). I’m not saying my sheet pan s’more is any better than theirs, but at least this preamble I just made you read before you get to the recipe is about 1,000 words shorter.
Marshmallow (At first I used minis, but three days into sheet pan mania I bought a bag of big marshmallows, and realized texturally they’re better)
Silpat mat or parchment paper. (Or tin foil. Or just use the raw pan, I guess. I’m not precious about these sorts of things.)
Preheat oven to 500 degrees or turn on the broiler.
Lay graham crackers flat on baking sheet. You can make these in bulk, but it’s just as easy and all the more authentic to keep the broiler roaring like so many all-night campfires before it and just pop these guys in as you crave them. I say make about two at a time if you live alone.
Layer chocolate on the graham cracker. I bought a Hershey’s milk chocolate bar, but you could use nicer chocolate. Not sure how well higher quality stuff will melt. This melts so well. I left the bar out on the countertop as my dishwasher was running underneath, and the bar melted inside its wrapper. I sort of scooped what I needed out with a small spoon and spread it over the cracker. Because I didn’t use all the chocolate, the bar resolidified, and when I went to make these again the next day, I just cracked it into pieces and put it on the graham cracker willy nilly.
Put marshmallows on top of chocolate on top of the graham cracker. I know I was being cute before with the extraneous instructions for a simple task, but I don’t know what else to tell you here. I suppose you could bake the chocolate graham cracker and toast the marshmallow over the open flame of your stove, but why would you dirty a chopstick, or whatever you used to hold it, if you didn’t need to.
Broil until the marshmallow gets so fluffy, about five minutes. If you want, you can take one out of the oven and snack on it while you’re waiting for the other one to get sufficiently golden, but you WILL hurt your fingies!
And there you have it! One of the best desperation foods I’ve ever invented, besides the parmesan omelette or Tammie popcorn with Lawry’s seasoned salt and MSG.