If you're looking for the devil, he's hiding in your Monster® Brand Extreme Energy Beverage, probably right between the L-carnitine and the pyridoxine hydrochloride. That's according to this respected theologian, who is crazy.
There's so much more irrefutable evidence to this conspiracy! That cross in the "o" is surely satanic in some fashion, and not just a stylized typographic choice made by some cynical marketing department. Monster comes in "big fucking cans," and it's widely understood that "fuck" is the devil's word. Plus, some of their ad copy says "unleash the beast," which is definitely a reference to Satan and not an entreaty to the drink's target market of young, taurine-consuming wannabe tough guys.
If you want a real satanic conspiracy, lady, cast your judgmental eye on Red Bull: