Read the news on any particular day and it’s hard not to come to the conclusion that the world is Bad. We can do our best to resist the Badness and maybe even contribute some Goodness, but while all of us (Peter Thiel excluded) will one day die, the Badness will surely live on forever. This, my friend, is where the bubbles come in.

“Bubbles?” you ask (somewhat rudely). “Are you serious, Hudson?”

Yes, I am completely serious.

Unfortunately, the costs imposed by many of the greatest pleasures in this world far exceed their advertised delights. Booze, gourmandism and perverse anonymous sex all end up taking more than they give. Drugs aren’t really worth it. Neither is smoking.

Two exceptions to this are bike rides and maybe flowers. A third anomaly is carbon dioxide bubbles dissolved in water, a solution commonly known as seltzer.

Less worldly writers, perhaps not yet fully acquainted with this universe’s unending miseries, will disparage seltzer’s good name for the sake of “clicks.” But as time passes, the rush from web traffic will fade and what will you have then? You’ll have the bubbles, which will always be there for you, no matter how cruelly you abuse them.

Seltzer, it must be said, is not Great. It can make one gassy, it can promote tooth decay and its advantages over plain water are relatively minor. In the end, however, bubbles are more fun than no bubbles. Don’t believe me? Watch this chameleon and then try to disagree.