What was it that Fight Club-quoting weird guy who lived on your floor sophomore year always used to say? Ah, yes: “The things you own... end up... owning you.” And guess what, it’s true!

The Connecticut man in question certainly isn’t the first to be held at bay by a cat, but here’s the thing—the cops treat it like it’s a real domestic abuse issue. Is this a Stamford thing? You call an emergency number to report that your eight-pound cat’s been acting like a real bitch and then the cops actually come, hear both sides, and try to mediate? Via CBS:

Mohammed Lokman said the cat had a kitten the night before and said she was acting fine until late morning.

He said it wasn’t until he came in from outside and changed his clothes that the cat tried to attack him.

He then locked the cat in another room, but it attacked again.

“We cannot move. We cannot do anything. It’s so aggressive and so mean,” said Lokman.

Lokman said he and his wife were sitting in their car in a parking lot because they could not get into their home.

The somewhat confused 911 operator asked the make of his car and then said she’d send the police.

They were advised to stay away from the cat for the rest of the night. The couple was eventually able to get back into their home.

Sounds like the cat won this round. Then again, they always do.

Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.