Consumerism Reports

Consumerism Reports: The $65 Birkenstock Cork Juice for the Face

The Germans look upward

F2F
Claire Carusillo
Iced Americano on white background

Consumerism Reports: The $13 Coffee Syrup That Made Me a Genius

I'm legit hyper right now

gotta have my java
Claire Carusillo
Beautiful young woman washing dishes

Consumerism Reports: The $6.99 Dish Soap That Makes a Strong Case for Chemicals

How dope is this nozzle that'll take 3 billion years to biodegrade in a landfill tho?

grease
Claire Carusillo
Woman hand holding a plasma lighter. White background.

Consumerism Reports: The $13.99 Lighter That Doesn't Detract From God's Infinite Mystery

It's not for me to question the gift of Prometheus

light of christ
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $118 Mini Backpack That Comes with a Pair of Leggings

This baby can fit so many loose nuts

is that a topo in your pocket or
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $249 Blast to the Ass

Maybe this thing I bought off Instagram will fix me

Take Several Seats
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $279 Weighted Blanket for Little Baby Bears

It's OK for baby dogs too

just right
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $499 Sweat Bag for Virtuous Women

I’m a little burrito

secretions
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $799 Bed Air Conditioner Whose Environmental Toll Keeps Me Up at Night

If anything, my ass is now too cold

climate control
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $20 Exfoliating Fish That Got My Feet River-Season Ready

Sure, I’ll dive in

detoxing
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: I Bought This $279 Metal Disc at Mormon Sephora

It was meant to make my face warm, which is close enough to hot.

the x-files for girls
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $168 Pillow That Has Not Made Me More Beautiful

I bought it because I am afraid of being dead

sleep well
Claire Carusillo