Consumerism Reports

Consumerism Reports: My $199 Orb

Will it heal me?

hello orb
Kelly Conaboy
Woman measuring temperature of whole roasted turkey with meat thermometer, closeup

Consumerism Reports: The $22.95 Meat Thermometer That Feels for the Chicken

Santorio Santorio would be proud

chicken shit
Claire Carusillo
Climber breathing with mini portable oxygen cylinder to avoid and treat High Altitude Sickness sympt...

Consumerism Reports: $15.99 Worth of Canned Air

Huff, huff, pass

young lungs
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: $44 Coffee Pods Save America

Cometeer's frozen coffee capsules taste just like coffee

freeze!
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: With the $6.99 Tomato Timer, It's Always Tomato Time

The Pomodoro Technique is what you make of it

Dipped Beef
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $129.99 Barf-Preventing Bracelet

It's shockingly effective

shocking news
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $399 Face Vibrator That's Fun for the Whole Family

Try it around the dinner table!

viiiiIIIIbbbBBBees
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $65 Birkenstock Cork Juice for the Face

The Germans look upward

F2F
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $13 Coffee Syrup That Made Me a Genius

I'm legit hyper right now

gotta have my java
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $6.99 Dish Soap That Makes a Strong Case for Chemicals

How dope is this nozzle that'll take 3 billion years to biodegrade in a landfill tho?

grease
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $13.99 Lighter That Doesn't Detract From God's Infinite Mystery

It's not for me to question the gift of Prometheus

light of christ
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $118 Mini Backpack That Comes with a Pair of Leggings

This baby can fit so many loose nuts

is that a topo in your pocket or
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $249 Blast to the Ass

Maybe this thing I bought off Instagram will fix me

Take Several Seats
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $279 Weighted Blanket for Little Baby Bears

It's OK for baby dogs too

just right
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $499 Sweat Bag for Virtuous Women

I’m a little burrito

secretions
Claire Carusillo

Consumerism Reports: The $799 Bed Air Conditioner Whose Environmental Toll Keeps Me Up at Night

If anything, my ass is now too cold

climate control
Claire Carusillo