Comcast, the internet service provider that inspired book one of Dante's Divine Comedy, promised last year that it would begin the years-long process of making its customer service not the actual worst in America. How's that going? Not so good, according to Comcast subscriber Julie Swano. Or, as Comcast knows her, "Whore Julia Swano."

Swano told travel columnist Chris Elliott that the company dubbed her "Whore Julia" on a December bill, seemingly at random.

"I have no record of any recent contact with Comcast until Dec. 16. So whoever chose to re-name me picked my account out of a hat," she said, "That says there are probably millions of us out there who Comcast employees have renamed. We need to find all of them."

She's certainly not the only Comcast victim this has happened to. The company is coming off a real hot streak where it renamed a customer who tried to cancel his service "Asshole Brown."

Elliott also heard from Comcast customers Dummy Heredia and Fuck You Bez.

"[O]ne thing is clear," he writes, "At least one person, and maybe more than one person, really doesn't like Comcast's customers."

According to Comcast ("putting customers at the center of every decision we make"), at least one of the name changes came from a rogue call center from which the company has now severed ties. In a statement to Ars Technica, a spokesperson said the other incidents would be investigated, and the company personally apologizes to Asshole, Whore, Dummy and Fuck You.

She adds:

We're also working with our billing partner on technology that will prevent this from happening and re-training our employees across the country. Respecting our customers is paramount, and we need to do everything we can to make sure that this never happens again.

And Comcast has every incentive to get that system put in place quickly, before it loses customers to the many competing internet and cable providers in the areas it serv—oh, wait, that's right: it's a near-monopoly that doesn't give a fuck about you.

[H/T Daily Dot, Screengrab: Julia Swano via]