[There was a video here]

Don’t you hate it when you’re out with your wife for lunch and you walk up by the dessert counter and then who do you see? Tim—the guy who can’t shut up about pneumococcal pneumonia.

Tim, I have to level with you here: Diane and I were having a perfectly lovely lunch... until you showed up. I had the tuna melt, she had a salad. I made a lighthearted joke to her about picking up a dessert at the counter. I knew she wouldn’t. She never does. She’s actually very healthy.

Did you hear me? She’s very healthy, Tim.

So why, if I may be blunt, did you feel the need to launch into a long soliloquy to us about pneumococcal pneumonia, Tim? My stammering attempt to pretend I hadn’t heard this harangue before clearly went in one of your ears and out the other. I was trying to politely direct you to a more appropriate conversation topic. “Hey, how was lunch?” “Hey, you guys seen any good movies lately?” Things that normal people say, Tim. Try it some time.

But can we have a nice, normal conversation with you, Tim? Even once? No. Instead, it’s always “It’s estimated a quarter of a million Americans over 50 are hospitalized with pneumococcal pneumonia each year.” Okay, fine. Give it a rest. There’s more to life than this one particular lung disease, Tim. Frankly, your friends are getting tired of this.

I mean, Jesus. Just take a look at the expression on my face 40 seconds into this video. Enough with the pneumococcal pneumonia spiel!

Anyhow. I’ll see you at the Kiwanis Club meeting Friday. We’ll talk about football—okay?

[They show this ad in movie theaters before previews. You can also watch it over and over at WhoPneu.com.]