Chris Christie, Blink Twice If You Need Help
Tonight, as Chris Christie introduced Donald Trump and stood by him during his resounding victory speech, we got to witness the exact moment that the beautiful light in Chris Christie’s soul forever dimmed. Chris—it’s not too late, and no man deserves this fate. Please, blink twice for help.
[There was a video here]
It was nearly impossible to pay attention to Trump’s speech, and not just because he repeated the exact same lines over and over again. Rather, the hostage situation to Trump’s left was far too captivating for us to look away from Chris Christie’s increasingly dead eyes for even a second.
It would seem that the internet agreed.
Can Chris Christie hold up a copy of a newspaper so that we know the hostage video was taken recently?— Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) March 2, 2016
Starting a Kickstarter to buy back Chris Christie's dignity.— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) March 2, 2016
"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn." pic.twitter.com/LXLK6JF5pe— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) March 2, 2016
that explains it pic.twitter.com/YlBKp58qfy— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) March 2, 2016
It would be so good if Christie slowly backed up and hid behind one of those flags— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) March 2, 2016
#SuperTuesday pic.twitter.com/r97jP3cmU4— Chris Moody (@moody) March 2, 2016
@moody @MattWelch pic.twitter.com/CG1NBrtAG7— R. Budd Tyler (@tylerpoll) March 2, 2016
Perfect use of the face-swap filter? pic.twitter.com/sJ5D74kf6I— Peter Hamby (@PeterHamby) March 2, 2016
That's me in the corner— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) March 2, 2016
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion pic.twitter.com/1ZkAMG9KcV
Room: The Sequel. pic.twitter.com/ZWDpDZ2TvI— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner) March 2, 2016
Chris Christie's tie is trying to escape. pic.twitter.com/ic4n1v4Lsd— Gavin Purcell (@gavinpurcell) March 2, 2016
I hope some day Chris Christie finds his forever-home.— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 2, 2016
Let's play a game: A dog or Chris Christie standing behind Trump for the last 30 minutes? pic.twitter.com/7W39nXcfyU— Andrew Kirell (@AndrewKirell) March 2, 2016
Chris Christie is just trying to figure out if he should go for two against Oregon. pic.twitter.com/63qNFALQNv— Michael Preston (@RM_Preston) March 2, 2016
On the other hand, Chris Christie is awful, horrible human being. Trump can keep him.