Late at night, you may sometimes find yourself being tugged in two directions by the small and insistent hole growing in your stomach. Maybe you want a sweet treat before you lay your head down to sleep. But maybe you want something more substantial—not just the goodnight kiss of a morsel of chocolate, but what Taco Bell has accurately termed/branded the “fourth meal.” Thankfully for us all, I recently discovered a solution.

The solution is: cereal for dessert. Where normally people eat cereal for breakfast, I find that it works best as a nightcap. At once, you can finish the night on a sweet note without resorting to freezer-burned ice cream, while also putting something substantial in your stomach that isn’t an actual entire meal.

A bowl of 11:30 p.m. Frosted Flakes, for instance, checks both boxes. On many nights, I don’t even want anything that sweet so I’ll just eat a bowl of Crispix. The presence of dairy alone is enough to trick my mind into thinking I’m eating dessert. If you’re feeling super crazy/stoned, you can squirt chocolate syrup on your cereal. If you’re feeling super duper crazy/stoned, you can bend further towards dessert by placing a scoop of ice cream in a shallow pool of milk and then dropping cereal into the bowl.

Cereal for breakfast is still good. It’s hard to fuck with a classic. But cereal for dessert is better, and it’s right there waiting for you. We’re all the heroes of our own lives.

[art by Jim Cooke]

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