The “millennial” generation loves nothing more than advertising, except for allegedly humorous “Vines” that they force you to watch on their iPhones, at parties, which is inappropriate. The point is: advertisers are over millennials and their bullshit.

One problem (among many) with “millennials” is that they have failed to solve the mystery of human aging. That means they get older, and change, and like different stuff than they liked a few years back. You can see how this really fucks up advertising plans. You have to keep making new ones. It’s a big hassle. What do the kids like now? Pokemon? Kanye West? “Electronic” dance music and “meow meow?” You never know.

Fortunately, the entire multibillion-dollar advertising industry would like to introduce you to a new made-up demographic subgroup that will now become the focus of the attention of desperate overtures from corporate America: the “centennials!” Suck it, “millennials.” You are thoroughly yesterday’s news, and allow me to say “good riddance” to you and your odious trends and love of Buzzfeed. Ad Age has the excruciating scoop:

Plenty of advertisers, in fact, were caught off guard by the pace at which technology advanced culture. And as the cycle of culture continues to speed up with the next generation — dubbed Generation Z, or sometimes “centennials” because they were born around the turn of the century — smart marketers are looking ahead and making small, fast bets to avoid losing touch with the next crop of teens. They don’t even have to look very far ahead, as it happens: With the oldest members of the group hitting 18 this year, Generation Z has already arrived.

Corporate America loves teens who are legally of age to have their own credit cards! Centennials, Coca-Cola would like to “hang” with you—as “besties!” Is that what you say now? Or what is it? Buy your “bae” a Coca-Cola! No?

[Photo: Flickr]