Obviously we’re all suffering from Barbie Fever. The Barbiecore trend is real, we’re wearing hot pink, and we’re seeing other people do the same. We’re weighing the cost vs. benefit of being placed in a medically induced coma until Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie comes out next summer, and in the meantime we’ve installed a browser plugin that constantly trawls the internet for new on-set photos of Margot Robbie rollerblading. Every day we wake up crying. So it’s possible we share part of the blame for the surfacing of the next bit of news.
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are into Barbie role play.
“Eva is always supportive of the films Ryan takes on,” a so-called insider told Us Weekly, seemingly unprompted. “She finds it cute and charming that he’s playing the role of Ken.” Okay.
This insider added that Ryan and Eva “were actually having fun role playing together after he went blond,” and that “they both got some good laughs,” and that their “chemistry and affection for each other is always off the charts.”
Who is this insider and how do they know the sexual fantasies this married couple, whose chemistry and affection for each other is always off the charts, chooses to live out in the bedroom? How do they know that, I guess, Eva Mendes puts on a Barbie wig and asks Ryan Gosling if the rumors are true, and he says what rumors, and she says the rumors that you have no genitals, and he says well why don’t you find out? How do they know that Ryan can’t reach completion without Eva telling him “YOU’RE KEN … NOT JUST IN A MOVIE BUT FOR REAL!” How do they know that if they tell me Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are doing Barbie “role play” in a headline, I’m gonna click on that, even though I know in my heart it will never live up to its explosive promise?
Only the reporters at Us Weekly know for sure.
And, before you go, in case you were worried about Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling’s happiness for some reason, ha not that you should be (they’re really in sync sexually), but for some reason in case you were, the insider would also like us to know that they’re “very happy and in a good place” and that things are going “super well for both of them.” Okay.
So, okay? Just making sure we’re all on the same page about Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes. They’re not unhappy and love fucking like Barbies. Onward!