In March 2019, Kourtney Kardashian teased a new project on her Instagram page. Alongside a photo of herself in which she appeared nude, obscuring her breasts with both a china teacup and a Macbook Air, she wrote, with confusing spacing and punctuation, “C O M I N G. S O O N. @poosh”
A little over a month later, Kardashian launched the project, which turned out to be a website about health, wellness, and “lifestyle” called Poosh. Critics noted that the site bore a striking resemblance to Gwyneth Paltrow’s website about health, wellness, and “lifestyle” called Goop, down to the all-important two O’s in the name. But Kardashian explained that Poosh is actually her daughter Penelope’s nickname. So.
Now three years later, Kardashian and Paltrow have teamed up to sell something together, specifically a candle that smells like Kardashian’s vagina. (It’s called “Smells Like My Pooshy.”) Conveniently enough, the process of creating this wondrous product was captured on camera for The Kardashians on Hulu. On last week’s episode, Kardashian introduced Goop and Poosh as if the brands were both spontaneously created and up until this point have had no influence on one another.
“Gwyneth Paltrow has a similar healthy lifestyle, and we’re both in the wellness space,” said Kardashian to the camera. “So I’m thinking about doing this collaboration between Poosh and Goop, which is Gwyneth Paltrow’s health and wellness brand.”
Yeah Kourtney, we know what Goop is. And I agree that there is room in the wellness space for all multimillionaire celebrity women to succeed. But if Poosh is not Goop, what is it? I have tried to find out.
Poosh is something missing in the healthy lifestyle space
In her introduction to the blog, Kardashian wrote, “I decided to launch Poosh because I felt that there was something missing in the healthy lifestyle space.” She does not elaborate on what that something was, leaving the reader to wonder how, exactly, Poosh fills the void. This is smart. Something was missing, never mind what, and now it’s not. Poosh’s topics as listed on the site include “sexual wellness,” “entertaining,” “playlists,” “adulting,” and “Kourtney.” Perhaps it was one of those.
Poosh is a job for Kourtney’s high school BFF Sarah to do
Poosh seems to be run primarily by Sarah Howard, Kardashian’s best friend from high school who has made several short appearances on the family’s reality program. She is the chief content officer of Poosh as well as the founder of a different lifestyle blog called Beauty Banter which seems to have gone defunct sometime in the last eight months.
Poosh is a $99 exorcism-level orgasm
It is not clear if Poosh is a profitable business. Media is tough, as we know. But you can buy things on the site, including a $189 table-top nut-milk maker, a $60 “vinegar tasting flight” called Acid League, and the aforementioned $75 Pooshy candle. Or, wait: That last one is sold out. Can I interest you in an $85 exfoliating skin spatula? Or a $99 Munkeybarz sex belt that Poosh content director Michelle Skanga promises will give you an “exorcism-level orgasm”?
“Using this and a Poosh-favorite vibrator, I was told he saw my soul as I got off,” Skanga writes, in prose that is representative of what the rest of the site has to offer. “Like, to my core. And I believe him because it was an exorcism-level orgasm that I’ve told him makes me feel so vulnerable knowing he saw something that I’ve never felt my body experience.”
Poosh is an exclusive peek inside Kris Jenner’s glassware room
Poosh is tax tips every newbie should know
As well as advice on trying weed gummies for the first time, how to anally finger someone, how to make Kourt’s Spicy Guacamole, seven ways to dial down anxious bedtime thoughts, and a surprisingly detailed guide to something called “sea moss gel” titled “WTF Is Sea Moss Gel?”
Poosh is whatever crossed Kardashian’s employees’ minds that day. Poosh is something Kardashian can talk about when her sisters are talking about their brands. Poosh is allegedly what Kardashian calls her daughter/employee Penelope, though I’m guessing that’s gotten confusing in the last three years. Poosh is everything and nothing and this $49 facial cupping set I just added to my cart.