Adult Siwanators with a working memory of how to text a five-digit number to vote for Kelly Clarkson on American Idol on your mom’s cell phone in 5th grade and a 401K with less than 2,000 dollars in it that we forgot how to access: Assemble, for we have another code to crack.
Last night, while we were sleeping, America’s best dancer and the personification of charisma, Jojo Siwa, dropped a bombshell teaser. “HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW,” Jojo said.
What could it be? Some guesses.
She read my article about her unfair advantage on Dancing with the Stars, and she’s decided to leave the show to level the playing field for contestants such as Melora Hardin, who might never have another opportunity like this.
She read my other article supporting her fight for creative freedom and has decided to give a middle finger to the corporate fat cats at Nickelodeon who won’t let her perform her six new original songs on her D.R.E.A.M. concert tour.
She’s finally addressing this blind item from 2019 alleging she's addicted to Nicorette gum. God she’s so cool.
She’s going on Maron, and she’s finally gonna reveal who her guys are.
She’s working on a Jojo talk show, maybe called Jojo.
She just learned about the whole Zodiac Killer thing and is going on record to say how fucked up that was.
She also read Bad Art Friend and has decided to donate her kidney in solidarity with Dawn.
She’s getting engaged to her girlfriend Kylie Prew, whom she calls “Ky,” and with whom she celebrates four different anniversaries per year.
She’s going to college to study ethnomusicology.
“Something about a tour,” per one commenter. Smart.
“You have a tv show ‘siwa dance pop revolution,’” per another, referring to Jojo’s upcoming reality competition show, Siwa Dance Pop Revolution, which has already been announced. Please keep up.
Whatever the upcoming announcement is, we’ll be here watching (Jojo posts do really well). And Jojo, if you’re reading, you can always email me directly. I love you.
UPDATE: Jojo has revealed her HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT: Siwa Dance Pop Revolution has an official streaming date of November 4. Jojo and her mother Jessalyn will be assembling “the next big girl group phenomenon” called XOMG POP! on the program.