Meghan and Harry dropped an even newer trailer for their new docuseries Harry & Meghan, premiering on Netflix December 8. I’m feeling some sort of way that the Queen has been dead for months, it’s nearly 2023, and I’m still writing about the fabled content of the Fabulous Markle Twins’ as yet unseen reality show on a weekly basis, but this is the lifestyle I chose — unlike Harry, who was born into it, and Meghan, whose public altruism seems to be a compulsion.
Let’s take a look at this thing, which is being released in two “volumes” rather than two episodes:
The trailer starts with the Markles in a car while Harry, in a voiceover, says, “It’s really hard to look back on it now and go what on earth happened?” Cut to a British newscaster saying, “She’s becoming a royal rock star” as personal snapshots and paparazzi footage plays. And then – it’s somber now – Harry and Meghan declare in tandem, “Everything changed.”
“There’s a hierarchy of the family. You know, there’s leaking. There’s also a planting of stories,” Harry says. The Windsors are the only institution that hate bloggers more than the American royals in the House of Hogan. If you’re reading this, royal footmaidens, you can always still DM me if you’ve got a leaking or a planting of stories to do.
More trailer: some drama queen says, “There was a war against women to suit other people’s genders.” Then another dude is like, “It’s about hatred. It’s about race.” As old timey tabloid footage of Princess Diana footage plays, a third rando goes, “The pain and suffering of women marrying into this institution… this feeding frenzy.”
Meghan says, “I realized they were never gonna protect you.”
Harry says, “I was terrified. I didn’t want history to repeat itself.”
Then, now in a vertical iPhone camera mode, “No one knows the whole truth. We know the full truth.” Fin.
To me, there is no doubt that a racist campaign against Meghan has been coming from inside the Palace, that Princess Diana was plotted against once she sired sons because her fame was eclipsing the institution, and that there was a good chance history was indeed going to repeat itself if they stayed over there, whether that meant divorce, estrangement, or worse. However, Marklehead Nation already knows all this. We saw the Oprah thing, and we custom-ordered embroidered pillows featuring every poem Meghan has read on her podcast Archetypes. What else is there to say? Harry and Meghan are at least partly correct, but they’re also so annoying. This trailer is annoying, and the show will be annoying. I will of course be watching and blogging, unless their Anglican god is a just one and fells me before this promotional cycle is over. On the other hand, that would mean I’d miss the Miss Cleo documentary coming out a week later on HBO Max — now that’s appointment viewing.