‘Twas the night before divorce, when all through the Miami mansion … not a creature was stirring, while it underwent expansion. The assets were divided by the lawyers with care, in hopes that a swift separation soon would be there. The petitioner and respondent were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of their prenup danced in their heads …
I find that poetry helps in times of sorrow. And you know what else helps? An ironclad prenup, particularly if you somehow have more money than your also-filthy-rich husband. According to a Page Six source, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen had this sort of prenup, and its happy existence is what allowed for their swift separation.
“There was an ironclad prenup set down before they married in 2009,” the source said. “They both have their own separate business entities, so the separation of their wealth wasn’t that complicated in the end.”
According to the tabloid, Brady is estimated to have around $333 million, while Bündchen is estimated to have around $400 million from modeling, commercials, and endorsement deals. (In 2014, Forbes said she had, at that point, made $386 million; she remained the highest-paid model in the world until 2016.)
According to the Page Six source, the “only other major factor” in their divorce was “dividing up their massive property portfolio.” (They also agreed to share joint custody of their kids; unclear where this ranks in terms of major factors.) It looks like Tom Brady got the $17 million mansion currently under construction on Indian Creek Island in Miami. Bündchen already owns two homes in Miami, and she’ll get to keep their vacation house in Costa Rica. They own a bunch of other properties, too — in the Bahamas, and Montana, and New York City, and so on — but the Page Six source doesn’t have anything to say about who gets those. I personally hope it’s me.
He sprang to his Benz, to his team gave a whistle. And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he left through the foyer — “Happy divorce to all, and to all a good lawyer!”