If you spend any time on certain corners of TiKTok — specifically on front-facing lesbian explainer Tarzana, CA TikTok — you know Jojo’s got a controversial new girlfriend named Avery Cyrus. You may not understand why this wholesome love connection that first blossomed in the everlasting Disneyland queue for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and was later made official in a late-pandemic Chuck E. Cheese is so rife with drama. You must be new…
I do not blame you for your past ignorance. But now, Adult Siwanators, I’m gonna need you to focus up. I’ll try to make this simple, but I’m about to throw a lot of arcane terminology and industry jargon your way.
It’ll pay off.
CHARLES ENTERTAINMENT CHEESE
Dusty, washed up gaming magnate and proprietor of all Chuck E. Cheese family entertainment centers
22-year-old bisexual TikTok phenom and YouTuber, not related to Miley
23-year-old lesbian TikTok phenom and YouTuber, former girlfriend of and collaborator with AVERY CYRUS. Known as alias “SOPH” online.
Old ass rat who owns Disneyland
18-year-old ex-girlfriend of JOJO SIWA
Prolific Instagram Dad, Father to JOJO SIWA
The name of a pre-teen girl group assembled on the television program Siwas Dance Pop Revolution on TikTok. This is what they sound like, performing their song “Candy Hearts” on America’s Got Talent:
TIMELINE OF EVENTS
JUL 16, 2022
Cyrus and Mosca, girlfriends, upload a video to YouTube detailing their shared house hunt after deciding together they’d outgrown their shared apartment.
AUG 3, 2022
Mosca announces via a Notes app message that she and Cyrus are “taking a break” in their relationship, but hope to find each other again one day. Avery follows up with her own statement, according to J-14. Mosca unfollows Siwa on Instagram, and Siwa’s ex Kylie Prew (aww!) follows Mosca.
AUG 4, 2022
One day later, Siwa posts a screenshot of her Snapchat log with Cyrus to her Instagram story, implying intimacy. According to Spill Sesh, Cyrus reposts this on her own Instagram story.
AUG 8, 2022
Cyrus and Siwa record a mukbang video together, fueling relationship rumors. The ice cream donut sandwich they eat looks disgusting, but the “bunny buns’ they try are quite cute.
AUG 17, 2022
Cyrus and Mosca make their final TikTok together, a poignant short film about ex-lovers moving on with their lives separately scored by a popular song on the app called “i say hoooo”
AUG 23, 2022
Tom Siwa posts an Instagram of himself and a small group of supporters, including Mosca and Siwa spawn Jayden (22), outside a taping of America’s Got Talent, during which girl group XOMG POP! is performing.
AUG 26, 2022
Cyrus and Siwa start content creating together regularly.
SEP 4, 2022
Siwa posts a cheeky TikTok with Cyrus in which they claim to be “purely platonic friends.”
SEP 10, 2022
Cyrus posts a TikTok wherein she flies across the country and surprises a sick Siwa in her bedroom with a hug. Genuinely very cute.
SEP 12, 2022
They make it official at Chuck E. Cheese.
SEP 14, 2022
Siwa defends her decision to take her girlfriend on a date to Chuck E. Cheese by telling off the haters with humor and charm. “As if I haven’t been a giant toddler my whole life. It’s my duty!” she says.
Then, it’s a red carpet debut for the girls at the opening night of the LA run of Jagged Little Pill, the Alanis Morissette jukebox musical.
SEP 23, 2022
Cyrus cuts “big chunks” of Siwa’s hair off
And the rest is herstory.
You better not let it pass you by.