Should Nanny Have Baby-Hitlered Prince William?

Prince Wombat was a royal terror

British Royals Prince William and his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997), wearing a blue s...
Tim Graham/Tim Graham Photo Library/Getty Images
hypotheticals

Uh oh, it looks like Prince William has a history of displaying some chav-like behavior in his youth, not unlike his estranged weenie of a brother Harry. According to Tina Brown’s new book The Palace Papers, which I can’t get my mitts (manicured with a tawdry too-nude nude paint that the Queen would NOT approve of) on fast enough, Wills was quite threatening as a toddler.

Per Page Six, Will, whose childhood nickname has been revealed to be “Wombat,” repeatedly threatened violence against his royal governess. “By the time he was four, he had the unattractive habit of yapping at his nanny, Barbara Barnes, ‘No one tells me what to do! When I am king I will have you punished,’” Brown writes in the book.

Retaliatory young William was second-in-line for the throne (and continues to be — presumably, neither his 96-year-old grandmother Queen Elizabeth nor his 73-year-old father Prince Charles will die or accede until at least the year 2422), which must have left Nanny Barnes in a Baby Hitler predicament, you know, like from the thought experiment. Could Barnes somehow have changed the course of history by preventing Brexit, Megxit, Diana’s death, Prince Andrew’s whole thing, and 10,800 misprinted “Jubbly” plates if she had nipped that evil at the bud in the mid-80s?

I of course am not advocating for violence, especially not against such a fun and thoughtful guy in the middle of a rebrand, but it is quite fun to imagine the Britain that could have been.