Queen Frees Herself From Oppressive Stick

Stick it to the man, Gran!

WINDSOR, ENGLAND - APRIL 28: Queen Elizabeth II attends an audience with the President of Switzerlan...
WPA Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images
up and at 'em

Look, Ma (HRH Queen Elizabeth Angela Marguerite Bowes-Lyon, The Queen Mother, who art in heaven), no stick! The still-alive Elizabeth’s back in the big city after a restful 96th birthday vacay, and this absolute queen is standing upright and able, proving to the haters who work at this website that the ol’ girl’s got some life left in her yet. She even took a private helicopter back home to London without it devolving into a spinning granny situation.

Per the Daily Mail, she don’t need a man (of course, we wish a very merry rest in peace, brother to Lil’s longtime beau Prince Philip, who passed last April) to bolster her during the president of Switzerland’s trip to Buckingham Palace. Looks like she’s grinning ear to ear, innit?

WPA Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images
DOMINIC LIPINSKI/AFP/Getty Images

“A smiling Queen stood unaided today as she held a face-to-face audience with the president of Switzerland at Windsor Castle,” the mag reported. “The Queen stood without her walking stick and was dressed in a blue and gray paisley-style patterned silk dress.”

Amidst so many mobility issues as of late, it seems like the Palace is feeling confident about the Queen’s continued back strength. She’s even expected to attend the State Opening of Parliament on May 10, a good sign for Jubbly weekend, which is of course June 2-5.

According to the Mail, “The Queen, who has experienced mobility issues in recent months, has opened Parliament on all but two occasions during her reign. The exceptions were in 1959 and 1963, when she was pregnant with Prince Andrew and then Prince Edward, when her speech was read by the Lord Chancellor.”

So barring another pregnancy announcement sometime in the next week, it seems Little Miss Punctual is back on top. When you look good, you reign good. A queen without her late husband’s stick is like a fish without a bicycle. Feminism is the radical notion that 96-year-old British women are queens.