Prince William and Kate the Friggin Cuckoo have jetted off on a Caribbean vacation, though I suppose in deference to my future king and queen consort, I will call it a “royal tour” like they’ve asked. The itinerary for their wet ‘n’ wild Platinum Jubbly tour through the Queen’s occupied lands is jam-packed, but luckily, there was a last-minute free window in their schedule — maybe even enough time for banana boating or a deep tissue massage?
According to People, a Friday visit to a cocoa farm in the Maya Mountains of Belize had to be canceled after locals protested the royals landing their helicopter on a town football field. “The local Q'eqehi Maya people have reportedly been in a dispute with the conservation charity Flora and Fauna International, of which William is patron, and the local state over the rights to 12,000 acres of land,” People reported. The planned cocoa farm visit is situated next to that land — just their luck.
Gratefully, the royals found another chocolate farm to occupy and made some classic “chocolate makes your clothes shrink!” style jokes to celebrate the occasion. “I think our children will be very jealous,” Kate commented. As long as no choco gets on Tidy George’s jumper!
It’s nice to see the happy couple not give into the drama and let loose for once. Next stop? Jamaica, where the dancing queen and king will be confronted by protests calling slavery reparations at the British High Commission in Kingston.