Prince Harry’s Autofiction Is Slated for the New Year

A heartbreaking work of staggering gingerness will be released Jan. 10

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This year, Chrimbo comes late for all the ickle boys and girls across Londontown and California’s central coast, for Penguin Random House has set a release date for Prince Harry’s bombshell memoir about growing up Ginger. It comes out on January 10, according to “industry executives” who spoke to the New York Times.

Like leading anti-Markle Twins advocate Tina “bin the book” Brown, the writers at this website have been somewhat outspoken in our collective skepticism that Harry’s $20 million memoir would ever see the grey light of a British day. After all, the boy, who errs on being a touch thick, kept asking for deadline extensions, and we all know what that means.

Even if his ghostwriter J.R. Moehringer, who wrote Andre Agassi’s memoir Open, managed to poop something out on behalf of Harry, the entire operation has reportedly been marred by apprehension and regret. Harry was worried he was talking too much shit (it was even rumored he got nixed from the Jubbly balcony because of it) while the Queen was alive, and then she went and died. That was soooo sad! And then Harry was forced to attempt to do damage control with his impending book before it was too late. It seems he was either quite successful in this mission (unlike his progress in editing his Netflix biopic), or maybe extremely unsuccessful (would he lose the advance?).

The only thing more powerful than a failing empire? The immersive power of a good book. Let’s hope Harry’s is one.