Morning has dawned on the republic of Scotland under King Charles III, and Prince Harry is getting the hell out. Harry Windsor-Markle used an armored Range Rover to escape the haunted mansion at Balmoral after 12 hours: wouldn’t you? The only person there who had any sense of humor was the Queen, and she’s busy watching her favorite show The Kumars at No. 42 into eternity on her celestial telly set.
The Daily Mail reconstructed Harry’s time traveling to Balmoral upon receiving news of the diminishing animus of Lilibet, Sovereign Emeritus. According to the paper, he arrived at the Scottish royal residence at 7:52 p.m. last night, more than an hour after the Palace reported her fatal slaying via Father Kronos, the Greek god of clockwatching whose proudest accomplishment to date is being a boyhood bully to Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark before his exile.
Harry left the house at 8:28 a.m. the next morning. According to the Mail, “He was swept into Aberdeen airport at 9:20 a.m., led by five police outriders, and boarded a flight to London leaving at 10 a.m.” His wife, HRH of Montecito Meghan, is in London, refunding tickets to the failed Fabulous Markle Twin Tour’s Euro leg.
The Daily Beast suggests that Harry’s quickie is a sign of continuing bad blood between the Cali guy and his family:
Prince William, Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, and his wife, Sophie, all flew to Scotland together on an air-force jet, but, incredibly, Harry was not on board, despite the fact that he was at his house in Windsor with Meghan, which is just a few hundred yards from William’s house (and not far from either Edward or Andrew’s homes).
He arrived hours later and was in the air, on a commercially rented plane, when the death announcement was made.
Pretty crazy of these eco-warriors to waste all that fuel over a pair of flower girl tights, especially considering the banished-lite Prince Andrew made it onto the flight logs for this turbulent journey of the Lilibeta Express. My allegiances are now entirely with Harry, and I hope he got two bags of pretzels on board.