One of the greatest joys of being in a relationship is watching your partner in their private moments. The way they brush their teeth, check their hair in the mirror, or hum a little song to themselves as they fold their laundry give you insight into who they really are. These little glimpses can be beautiful — but we have to draw the line somewhere. That somewhere is pooping.
I am personally of the belief that you never need to see your significant other poop, let alone poop next to them on the two toilets you had installed next to each other in your home. Meghan Trainor and Daryl Sabara would disagree.
Trainor went on Nicole Byer’s Why Won’t You Date Me? podcast with her brother Ryan, who brought up the couple’s bowel movements less than ten minutes into the episode.
“They poop together! She’s pooping and Daryl’s like ‘I’m gonna hang out with you now.’ Even if we’re like in a green room at a fucking, like, award show,” the non-famous Trainor said.
“I don’t want to poop alone. I can only poop in public if Daryl’s with me and he’s blocking the door,” the “All About That Bass” singer rebutted, as if that made it any better.
The literal shit talk continued, with Trainor explaining that she and her husband asked a contractor to add a second toilet to the bathroom of their new home.
“Nobody knows this, but in our bathroom, there was one toilet, and a lot of time in the middle of the night when we’re with the baby, we’ve got to pee at the same time. So I was like, ‘Can we please have two toilets next to each other,’” the Gerber influencer said.
Obviously the contractor thought this was a joke, but sadly it was not. The “Lips Are Movin” singer and the Spy Kids actor now have two toilets right next to each other in their bathroom. Don’t worry though, they’ve “only pooped together twice.”
That is two times too many if you ask me or any other normal person. Even though they don’t often poop next to each other, Trainor did say that she often calls Sabara in to look at her dumps because they’re “learning about nutrition” and her shits are “great now and healthy and every day.” Which apparently is reason enough to call her husband into the bathroom to look at her beautiful, healthy turds.
Ultimately I am glad these two freaks found each other. We should all be looking for someone who embraces whatever our metaphorical second toilet right next to the first toilet is. Remember ladies, never settle for someone who says, “Why not just use the other bathroom?”