Picture the teenage bedroom of one Cleveland teenager Colson Baker, now better known as Machine Gun Kelly. It's messy, it smells bad, and on the wall hangs a poster of the famous woman he will one day, somehow, manage to date.
In an interview for GQ, MGK told Pulitzer Prize winner Wesley Lowery (his former high school classmate), that he used to have a poster of now-girlfriend Megan Fox hanging on his wall. “It was from her GQ shoot,” he said. “So that's some full-circle shit.” The photos were, in mid-2000s fashion, shot by disgraced photographer Terry Richardson.
There is a strange, storied history of young, soon-to-be-celebrities having crushes on fully grown celebrities and then growing up to have sex with those same celebrities: examples include Jason Momoa, who told James Corden that he saw Lisa Bonet on tv at age 8 and said “Mommy, I want that one;” and Hailey Bieber née Baldwin, who can be seen blushing at Justin Bieber at a 2009 meet and greet.
But the poster thing is more specific. While that is indeed some full-circle shit, MGK and Fox are not alone. Other celebrities who had posters of celebrity crushes on their walls as children and then grew up to wed or both wed and divorce said celebrities include:
Katherine, the Duchess of Cambridge
Kate Middleton’s former dorm mate at boarding school and current enemy Jessica Hay once told The Mail on Sunday that Middleton used to have a picture of Prince William on her wall. In a joint interview with William, the now-Duchess Katherine denied this, claiming that she instead chose to decorate with photos of “the Levi’s guy.” William, a traitor, disputed his wife’s claims, saying that she had “10 or 20 pictures of me up on her wall at university,” and that “it was me in Levi’s.” Only Jessica knows the truth.
In an oft-cited Seventeen magazine article from 2004, Katie Holmes revealed that she used to decorate her room with posters of her favorite stars, including childhood crush Tom Cruise. ''I used to think I was going to marry Tom Cruise,” she said. The exact article seems to have been lost to history, but Holmes’ Dawson’s Creek co-star Mary Beth Peil confirmed the account to The Daily Beast, saying “She [Holmes] knew everything about him. She said, ‘I have had a crush on him since I was 15, and his posters were on the walls of my bedroom.’ She could not stop talking about Tom Cruise. This was way before they got together, but she was certainly ready for him.”
A few short months after her Seventeen interview, Holmes succeeded known suppressive person Nicole Kidman to become Cruise’s girlfriend and eventual wife. Some might say that she was essentially kidnapped and forced into Xenu worship, and that her ability to leave Cruise and start a new life complete with a secret entrance to the Chelsea Whole Foods was nothing short of heroic, but not I! The notoriously litigious Church of Scientology is amazing! I love your sauna rehabs! Let’s go clear!
In a 2013 interview on the Queen Latifah Show, Nick Cannon revealed that now-ex-wife Mariah Carey was his childhood “dream girl.”
“Literally I was 12 years old,” said Cannon. “I knew Mariah was the one when her poster was on my wall. Like, ‘I’m gonna marry her one day.’ I spoke it into existence.”
Cannon finally met the elusive chanteuse when he presented her with the “Choice Music R&B Artist award” at the 2005 Teen Choice Awards. They began dating in 2008, and married six weeks later on her Bahamian estate, which, unlike her Manhattan penthouse, was unfortunately never featured on MTV’s Cribs. The couple divorced in 2016, and since then Cannon has been busy producing siblings for his twins with Carey, Monroe and Moroccan. He now has seven children. “Trust me there’s a lot of people that I could’ve gotten pregnant that I didn’t,” he said during his July 7 radio show. “The ones that got pregnant are the ones that were supposed to get pregnant.”
“I’m like a seahorse out here,” he added. “That’s just the way I’m procreating.” Do his numerous babies count as members of the Lambily?