Something wicked this way hangs around the neck of the Magickal Mrs. Markle, the rune-obsessed pagan practitioner who uses third wave feminist symbology as guidance in her elaborate croning rituals. Earlier this week, Goody Markle wielded a necromantic pair of ethically-sourced signet pinkie rings imbued with primordial, dangerous meaning. And now, Page Six reveals she’s taken to wearing a “woman power” necklace, the acquisition of which will allow its wearer to “Show off your inner goddess – and support women’s healthcare!”
Can we divine the all-powerful theurgy of Meghan’s inner goddess amulet, which combines the Venus sign and a closed fist symbol, dotted with tranquilizing purple amethyst? First, throw this playlist on and then we’ll soothsay:
The website of Awe Inspired, the collective which has produced this powerful totem, says “this gold vermeil pendant necklace helps channel all the glorious power and strength of the feminine.” One hundred percent of proceeds from sales of this omnipotent talisman go to Planned Parenthood, which I believe is a witch-run co-operative benefitting local village children whose ma and pa were eaten by werewolves during the latest blood moon.
Awe Inspired also has a charm commemorating their eternal matriarchal enchantress-in-chief, reportedly so powerful she was doing push-ups at age 87.
Just don’t ever ask Meghan to take the necklace off. You know what happened to the old woman with the yellow ribbon…that was Ruth Bader Ginsburg.