Something very confusing is happening with Lisa Rinna, Kathy Hilton, and a guy named Patrick Somers. I’m going to do my best to explain it, but I make no promises regarding cogency. I have 17,000 tabs open right now. My eyes are darting back and forth between them as if in REM sleep. Let’s start at the beginning.
In February, Radar Online reported that Kathy Hilton had a “meltdown” while filming a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast trip to Aspen, Colorado the previous month. At that point it was unclear what the meltdown was about — something concerning “white privilege” — but later rumors arose, from an “insider” who spoke to Housewives gossip site allabouttrh.com, that Hilton had used a homophobic slur while talking about fellow cast member Sutton Stracke’s assistant.
“Kathy (allegedly) had some type of ‘meltdown,’” the insider said, “because all the ladies left the house for dinner without her. There are reports saying that when the ladies returned back to their Air B&B [sic], Kathy began to curse them out and throw objects at them and producers.” During the meltdown the insider says Hilton “called Sutton’s assistant the F-Word” (the one Matt Damon recently retired). And after returning to Los Angeles, the insider says Hilton sent Rinna a cease-and-desist to “silence her from talking about Kathy’s behavior while on the trip.”
Are you still with me? We’re not even close to the main drama yet.
In May, Instagram account @therealhousewiveszone leaked DM screenshots allegedly from Lisa Rinna which seem to accuse Kathy Hilton of being a homophobic racist. “Here’s the thing if you’re gonna be on a reality show honey and you’re a homophobic racist,” she wrote in part, “you probably should’ve stayed home.” In her DMs, Rinna also seemingly accused the Hilton children (Paris, etc.) of being racist. (And of course we have to say: Duh.) (On all counts.)
Sutton Stracke, for her part, denies that Kathy Hilton said anything about her assistant. A few days after Rinna’s DMs leaked, Stracke posted a selfie with Hilton and the assistant in question, writing, “Josh is the best. And he got a promotion yesterday. He is no longer my assistant. He executes everything we do around here with grace and style, and we have fun while doing it! And @kathyhilton has been nothing but kind and respectful to him.”
(Sutton and Rinna have their own feud going about Elton John’s fundraiser Oscar party. We don’t need to get into it.)
THE CRYPTIC SHADE
After the leak of Lisa Rinna’s alleged DMs, Kathy Hilton began “throwing shade” on Instagram. In now-deleted posts, Kathy Hilton shared the meme of Kermit the Frog drinking tea and a tea kettle. She also shared a post from a narcissism-themed Instagram account.
“A narcissist however, will only be there for you because they need it,” the post said in part. “To feed on the drama. To promote their fake persona of ‘being that great person who is always there for others,’ with no follow through. To build your debt of obligation to them.” Hilton commented on the original post: “So true!!!!!”
THE TEXT SCREENSHOT
Okay — now we’re into the main drama. After Hilton posted her tea shade, Lisa Rinna posted a screenshot to her Instagram story of a text from a not-redacted phone number that was not saved in her contacts. The text said, “Lisa, you need to stop with your rumors and lies about me. There’s plenty I can expose about you…” Lisa Rinna wrote over the image, “You exposed yourself.” And then, “Hey expose away can’t wait to see what you’ve got.”
Rinna stans guessed the sender was Kathy Hilton’s assistant. But it didn’t take long before marketing manager Patrick Somers claimed the text was actually from him. In his Instagram story he wrote, “@lisarinna… I suggest you take your post down before I sue you or leak your number since you think it’s acceptable to leak mine.” He then allegedly did that in the next slide, writing, “Why are you starting drama with someone that is half your age you overfilled ancient dinosaur. Anyways here’s Lisa’s number since she posted mine.”
In yet another Instagram story slide, Somers alleged the drama between him and Rinna came from Bravo-based jealousy. He wrote, “Mind you… this is because Production has started on a series called ‘real husbands of sunset’ and the series is set to compete with the real housewives and features an all male cast. . . . (me being a member). We met Lisa to get some pointers for our first season and drama started from the beginning.”
Later Somers posted another slide — I know, I’m sorry, we just have to power through this — where he said, “And btw I never said her husband was gay. A little rainbow emoji never hurt anyone but I mean if the shoe fits.” Then he said, “You need to go worry about YOUR husband and YOUR finances and who he’s spending his time with because his wife is too busy running her overfilled mouth. Beverly Hills talks…and we all know.”
(After this Rinna posted a few cryptic messages, some of which also came from a different narcissism-themed Instagram account. But it doesn’t matter, let’s keep moving.)
THE LEGAL THREATS
In a now-deleted tweet, Patrick Somers wrote, “As many know @lisarinna had millions of individuals call and text me in an online attack which gave millions access to my personal data. I received death threats, racial discrimination, and bullying. Today I sit with my 2 attorneys as we move forward with legal action.” The tweet was accompanied by a photo of three guys sitting at a table. Here’s a screenshot of his tweet, via Reality Blurb, from the Instagram story of the Housewives account @bravoandcocktails_:
THE PART WHERE “YOUR MOMS ARE WATCHING” HAS TEA
Okay we’ve almost reached the conclusion. Last night, Lisa Rinna shared a post from a Housewives fan Instagram account called Your Moms Are Watching. “I have tea. I just DMed with Patrick Somers, that kid that sent Rinna a text last weekend threatening her,” the post said, “Rinna then posted the text and the kid posted Rinna’s number and it became a big thing. Well, he just admitted to me KATHY HILTON PAID HIM TO DO THIS. …. Turns out he made everything up just to divert focus from the fact that Lisa was calling out Kathy for the slurs she made in Aspen.”
What followed the tea announcement were several pages of DMs allegedly between Patrick Somers and the Instagram account, wherein Somers admits he was hired by a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member (whose name rhymes with “Milton”) to pull media focus from her and put it onto someone else. He says he was “given one job: to pull attention away from my client. I did that… I was given a couple of specifics to make sure I hit our marketing strategy.” In the DMs, he admits to fabricating both the lawsuit and the Real Househusbands of Sunset show he claimed to be a part of.
THE ALLEGED ADMISSION
In a now-deleted Instagram post shared on Friday morning (from his now-private Instagram account), Patrick Somers claimed he was indeed hired to conduct a campaign against Lisa Rinna. “My latest assignment was executed against Lisa Rinna. I never reveal a clients personal information per my NDA agreement,” he wrote. “My latest marketing campaign was to draw attention away from my client.. That’s exactly what I did. All narratives associated with my latest campaign are false. I was compensated $27,527.72 for my work.”
“There is no lawsuit, no new reality show, and frankly I’ve never met lisa rinna,” he wrote.
Is Patrick Somers telling the truth? Was he indeed hired by Kathy Hilton for $27,527.72 to pull the focus off of Kathy Hilton and put it, instead, on … um, himself? Some guy I never even heard of until today? And then did he admit it to a Real Housewives fan Instagram account almost immediately, with very little prodding on their part? To be seen.
My guess is no.