Queen Elizabeth’s Platinum Jubilee is less than a month away. Have you bought your fascinator yet? There is so much to do in so little time. We all need outfits, someone has to get to the bottom of whether Harry and Meghan are going to show up, and, perhaps most importantly, Lin-Manuel Miranda and Andrew Lloyd Webber need to write an entire song!
The Mirror reported on Thursday that the two Broadway composers are working on a “top secret project” for the Jubbly. Sources did not have much else to say about it, other than the fact that it will be “a fitting tribute to the Queen’s historic 70 years on the throne.” The British tabloid called this information an “exclusive,” but Miranda himself revealed that this was happening earlier this week on the Vogue livestream of the Met Gala red carpet. Let’s all try to keep up.
“Andrew Lloyd Webber called me and said, ‘It’s the Queen’s Jubilee, we should do something together,’” the Hamilton star told his pal Vanessa Hudgens. “We haven’t written it yet.” The Mirror reported that the collaboration would be the “centerpiece” of the Royal Windsor Horse Show on May 15, but Miranda himself said that they have a month to work on it. I don’t know who to believe anymore.
I would be remiss not to point out how funny it is to become an A-list celebrity for writing a musical partly about how buffoonish the British monarchy is and then turn around and compose a laudatory diddy for the Queen herself. Everyone’s an anti-royalist until the guy who wrote Cats asks if you want to meet ol’ Lilibet.
While there are no details yet about what the song may sound like, I think we can cobble together an idea based on these two’s previous work. We know that Miranda likes lots of lyrics crammed into a bar, and Webber loves coked-up schmaltz. We also know that they both love to give a woman a big number (see: “Burn,” “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”).
This combination of songwriting attributes can only mean one thing: Webber’s on-again-off-again bestie Nicole Scherzinger will be belting/rapping her face off in front of Her Royal Highness come the Jubilee. She could really use a win after a recent lawsuit halted the much-awaited Pussycat Dolls reunion tour, and this seems like just the ticket. It’ll be an 11 o’clock number for the ages. Hopefully not literally — Lizzie needs her beauty rest.