It’s a sad day in Grand Cayman. Michael Armand Hammer, oil baron and loving pa to the island’s most business-minded, tatted-up badass Armie, died on Sunday at age 67 after a protracted battle with cancer. A representative for the Hammer fammer confirmed the passage to People on Tuesday, writing, “Michael Hammer has passed away after a long, hard fight with cancer and is now at peace.”
The holidays are sure to be difficult for the family, which is struggling as a unit with sexual assault and cannibalism allegations against Armie, fallout from a movie about the family produced by Michael’s sister, as well as a grueling and preparatory press tour for wife Elizabeth Chambers’ inevitable E! reality show.
As various outlets report the patriarch’s death, the comments are looking pretty grim. Many are making jokes about human flesh having high cholesterol and also looking exactly like Tom Jones. But one reliable commentator has gone above and beyond: the Drunk Wives Matter activist herself, former Real Housewives of Orange County rabblerouser Kelly Dodd. She left a note on Page Six’s Instagram commemorating Hammer.
“Did the coke have fentanyl?” she asked, implying he died of an overdose.
User melodybambie had an answer, replying, “THERE SICKO IN THERE DNA lol 😂 😂 😂.”
It’s unclear if the commenter is commenting on the Dodd or the Hammer genetic makeup. Both are probably true. But family is family, and the holidays are still on.