I hate to do this to you all, but you have to watch this video of Jimmy Fallon slamming a hot dog into his mouth and then trying to chug a beer.
Disgusting. The Tonight Show host was caught on the jumbotron at the Rangers game and couldn’t just be normal for two seconds. Any other celebrity would have just given a tight-lipped smile, but this man has a child-like need for attention, so here we are. In the vein of sports, let’s look at a play-by-play.
We could have stopped here. Dunking the hot dog into the beer is funny enough.
Hahaha, now he’s eating the hot dog in a gross way. This is actually fine, but he’s really pushing it.
The point of no return. Once he bared his mouth full of hot dog directly to the camera, the bit was no longer good. Of course, it continued.
Now it’s time to chug the beer! This is what we call putting a hat on a hat.
Anyone who has ever ended up with a lot of beer on their face and clothes knows that it is a completely disgusting sensation. You smell bad, you’re sticky, and you just wasted a lot of beer. If you’re gonna do it, it should at least be funny.
If I’m Jimmy’s coach, he’s getting admonished in the locker room. This was showboat behavior and he didn’t even get the puck in the goal. He took a shot from too far away and missed by about ten feet. He also wasted a perfectly good hot dog and beer, which at Madison Square Garden costs about $137. At practice next week we’re going to have to go back to fundamentals: rinkside etiquette.