“We did what we had to do / Won’t forget, can’t regret / What I did for love…”
- A Chorus Line
Love is all about compromise. The ability to meet in the middle is the hallmark of a good relationship — but even love has its limits. Take, for instance, this recent paparazzi snap of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck:
Notice anything sad? It’s not Ben’s ugly sneakers. He looks super normal, actually. We all know that he runs on Dunkin’, so seeing him out and about, one-handing both an iced coffee and a Wake-Up Wrap, is nothing out of the ordinary. But allow me to direct your attention to J.Lo, who is so madly in love with this man that she has ordered… a Dunkin’ matcha.
I don’t know if you’ve ever had an iced matcha from your local Dunkin’ before. If you haven’t, it’s best to keep it that way. Matcha from Dunkin’ is, essentially, green milk. The baristas do not get paid enough to properly whisk the tea in a separate vessel using a chasen, which is how matcha is traditionally made — and more power to ‘em. Honestly, if you’re dumb enough to get matcha from Dunkin’, you deserve your lightly dirt-flavored alternative milk (if you thought J.Lo was ordering dairy… be for real, there is no love that powerful).
The best case scenario here is that the drink is for one of Lopez or Affleck’s children, who were spotted with them on this outing. After all, in 2016, the Hustlers star stated that she doesn’t “drink or smoke or have caffeine,” which would keep matcha out of her diet. But that was six years ago, before she married a man who famously consumes both caffeine and nicotine on the reg. Things change, notice how the matcha already has a straw in it. Love changes you, makes you do crazy things. I respect that — but I will never love hard enough to abide by a Dunkin’ matcha.