Smartwater drinker and actress Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of InStyle’s September issue talking about The Morning Show, how many sleep apps she has, and her Friends costars. As someone who has been famous for almost 30 years, the chronic dry eye-sufferer knows how to give an interview that makes her seem the most necessary of beloved female celebrity qualities: “down-to-earth.” However there is one moment in which the mask comes off, revealing Aniston to be just as cuckoo as every other famous person.
InStyle’s Editor in Chief Laura Brown asked Aniston a seemingly innocuous yet enormously loaded question. “What do you eat if you’re stressed?,” she wondered. What Aniston said next is shocking, in both form and style.
“A chip,” she said. “Crunch, crunch, crunch.”
Crunch, crunch, crunch. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! That’s her whole answer. A single chip that she crunch, crunch, crunches on. That seems like too many crunches per chip , but if you’re only eating a single chip when you’re stressed out, you probably want to make it last.
Brown, who was just as shocked as we are, asked Aniston to clarify, to which the actress said, “I'm good at that. I can have one M&M, one chip. I know, that's so annoying.” I don’t know that it’s annoying so much as it is bonkers. At least with one chip I can conjure an image in my mind of someone standing next to a bowl of chips and just eating one. I don’t respect it, but I can see it.
But one M&M? Is Jennifer Aniston keeping a bag of M&Ms in her home and just eating a single one any time she’s feeling overwhelmed? Who in their life has ever eaten just one M&M? The smallest number of M&Ms I’ve ever eaten in one go is probably seven, and that is only because I asked someone who was already eating M&Ms to have some and that’s how many they poured into my hand.
Jen, I need you to know something. You can eat more than one chip. It won’t ruin your life. You can even, dare I say, eat a bag of them if you want to. There are many varieties of clean, sodium-free, non-potato chips that you can purchase in Los Angeles, most notably at Erewhon. I’m begging you, for your own sake, free yourself from your organic shackles and eat another chip.