A sleepover at the Queens house — can you imagine? Tucked in, snug as a bug with the stick. It’s Gawker royal correspondent Claire Carusillo’s dream, of course, but for one man, for one night, it was a reality. And all it took was one … heavenly little trick ;).
“[He] said his name was Father Cruise and claimed to be a friend of the battalion’s padre, the Rev. Matt Coles,” a source told Britain’s TalkTV, via Page Six. The priestly intruder spent the night of April 26 at Windsor Castle, where the Queen lives, despite no one expecting him or knowing who he was, and despite his name sounding like a name someone would make up after seeing a poster for Top Gun: Maverick. “He was invited in and offered something to eat in the Officers’ Mess.”
The man (not pictured above, that's a random stock photo of a guy dressed as a priest that I found when I searched Shutterstock for “priest”) reportedly drank with the officers, swapping life stories, including an anecdote that he had served in Iraq. “He was telling lots of tall stories,” said the TalkTV source, “and the lads were enjoying his banter and having a few drinks. It was only later when he started talking about how he had worked as an ejector-seat test pilot and had some organs replaced that the chaps started to get suspicious.”
Aye, the lads and chaps will only sack off with so much dodgy banter while proper knackered before getting a bit suspicious, innit? Indeed, according to a spokesperson for the Thames Valley Police, who spoke with Harper’s Bazaar, the intruder was apprehended the next morning. “We received a report of an intruder at Victoria Barracks in Sheet Street, Windsor, at 9:20 a.m. on Wednesday [April 27],” they said. “Officers attended and removed the intruder from the barracks. No further action was required.”
Well, it’s that easy, Claire. Jubbly Weekend is coming up fast — maybe you can dress as a nun?