Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex won’t be returning to the United Kingdom for a family occasion, citing “security concerns.” Did I get ya? Did you think that this was about the jubbly again? It’s actually just the same excuse but applied to Prince Phillip’s memorial service, which is set to take place at the end of the month at Westminster Abbey.
According to Harry, government security is not enough protection for him and his family. He even offered to pay for the extra manpower out of his own pocket, an offer dismissed by The Firm. They hate it when a man has his own coin to spend!
“The Duke will not be returning to the UK in late March, but hopes to visit his grandmother as soon as possible,” a spokesperson for the Sussexes told Page Six. This is the P.R. equivalent of telling an acquaintance, “We should totally get lunch sometime!” There is no way Harry is ever going to visit his grandmother, but it’s a nice thing to say.
Luckily for the queen, she will still be surrounded by loved ones at the memorial for her late husband. Prince Charles, Prince William, and I bet even Kate Middleton will be there. Also in attendance will be Prince Andrew, fresh from the thrill of his sex abuse lawsuit being dismissed, whose presence will maybe cause enough dead-eyed whispering that no one will even notice Harry’s absence.