Welcome to the Fallon Files, a weekly-ish series chronicling only the lowest lows of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
We have found something Jimmy is really good at — I repeat, we have found something that Jimmy is good at. This miracle plays off of Jimmy’s natural resting state, which is, as I’m sure you are aware, one of overwhelming amazement. It’s a quality that means that he is incredibly well-suited to host one specific kind of guest: magicians.
David Blaine went on The Tonight Show on Thursday night to promote his upcoming Vegas residency — of which Jimmy said, “I don’t even know how to describe what you showed me”; at least try, brother! — and proved himself to be the perfect guest for Jimmy. There was no need for one-sided banter from Blaine and no need for feigned enthusiasm from Jimmy, because Blaine just did a magic trick and Jimmy was genuinely very excited.
I know this clip is 12 minutes long, but I promise you it is worth it. But maybe you don’t care for magic tricks (loser) and want a brief rundown. I work for the people, so I am happy to oblige. Everyone in the audience got their own deck of cards, shuffled it, and hid a card on their person. Then Blaine stuck a pin in a Joker card on Jimmy’s desk. The founding member of the Pussy Posse then shuffled a different deck and asked Jimmy to pick a card. Jimmy picked the five of hearts. After some cajoling, Blaine got Jimmy to slam his hand onto the pin.
Now, this is the most I’ve ever related to Jimmy in my many years of watching this show. He really did not want to slam a pin into his hand, and neither would any of us. But he did it because he was contractually obliged to, and would you believe it? He lifted his hand up and the five of hearts was stuck to his palm. Not only that, but the random card the entire audience hid was also the five of hearts. Pretty cool.
But because David Blaine is David Blaine, he then had to eat a bowl of nails. Not only that, but he also shot some of the nails out of his nose, spit a couple of them back out, and then — TW for something absolutely disgusting — regurgitated a live frog. I wonder how Questlove felt about that.
I have to agree. This was live body horror, but it was also the best Tonight Show segment in a hot minute. Jimmy should have a different magician on every week. He could call it Jimmy’s Magic Corner and for a brief moment he would feel like a real person. This could be huge for him. Of course, he’s obsessed with making bad decisions (see: that beard he has right now) so he won’t do it. But it would be a smash.