The beleaguered set of cheekbones with violent tendencies that is The Flash actor Ezra Miller has been arrested in Hilo, Hawaii for disorderly conduct at a bar. According to Variety, Miller became unruly around 11:30 p.m. on Sunday evening while patrons sang karaoke and began yelling obscenities. Miller, who uses they/them pronouns, then “grabbed the microphone from a 23-year-old woman singing karaoke and later lunged at a 32-year-old man playing darts.”
Miller paid their bail, set at $500 and was free to leave police custody, though this is far from their first instance of public aggression at a public watering hole. In 2020, a video surfaced online of Miller choking a woman at a bar in Reykjavik, Iceland. Some sources say the choke began as a hilarious dance floor joke, but they were booted out of the spot, nonetheless.
But perhaps Miller’s greatest crime lies beyond the purview of the law: their smell.
Gawker’s very own Allie Jones profiled Miller for GQ in 2018 at their farm in Vermont, where “the air is thick with the promise of new life, and the hay floor is dotted with goat shit.”. Jones reported Miller smelled like “cigarettes and not deodorant.”
Word-of-mouth seemingly confirms they’re the stinkiest star in Hollywood.
Back to Miller’s actions: In the 2018 GQ piece, they took time aside from birthing a baby goat to support the #MeToo movement in Hollywood.
“Let's drop men like flies. I'm with it. And then let's rehabilitate them when they're on the ground. This is some Wonder Woman shit right here. What's the Amazonian solution to this?"
Also in 2018, Miller spoke out on the casting of Johnny Depp, whom ex-wife Amber Heard accused of verbal and physical assault, in their film Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald. “None of us were consulted. None of us knew,” they told Playboy (via Us Weekly).
“Look, I bring forth my work to this job, and I do the best that I can. I would say that literally every single aspect of my reality, inclusive of a lot of things that are not fine with me, are fine with me. It’s amazing how far the banner of all good can extend.”
Does the banner reach this far? And can we fan it out to eradicate the stench? If you’ve ever smelled Miller, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.