Erika Jayne Dares Jennifer Lawrence to Join ‘Real Housewives’ Cast

Get old go broke

Erika Jayne: MICHAEL TRAN/AFP/Getty Images; Jennifer Lawrence: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
or what

In a recent interview, Variety asked Jennifer Lawrence what she thinks about the new season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (She’s a Bravo fan and gets asked about it a lot because it’s entertaining to see big celebrities have an opinion about the trash worthless people also know about.) (Kind of a “pizza rat” style dissonance.) "My biggest problem with this season is that it's just been boring," she said. Correct. "And I think that Erika is evil." Also correct.

She added that she thinks Erika Jayne needs a publicist, which I don’t agree with. What Erika Jayne needs is for Nathan Fielder to construct faux versions of all of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills filming locations (Kyle’s house, Kyle’s shitty Aspen house, the Beverly Wilshire), hire lookalikes for the rest of the cast, get fake cameramen, and then trick her into thinking she’s filming the show. I think this is the only way to keep her from saying repeatedly on camera that she doesn’t care about the plane crash victims represented by her lawyer husband, from whom he allegedly stole millions of dollars of settlement money in order to fund their lavish lifestyle. “I don’t give a fuck about anybody else but me!” — Erika Jayne screaming, now to no one, as a favor from Nathan Fielder.

Anyway, what? Oh — Erika responded to Jennifer Lawrence’s remarks on Watch What Happens Live last night. "Well, you know, it's easy to label people when they are at their absolute lowest going through something in real time on television,” she said. "But anytime that she would like to come on down and mix it up with us, I'm sure that we could unmask the ugly parts of her personality, as well.”

And we do love a sneering, unnecessarily hostile Erika Jayne threat, don’t we? No, not really. But it is what it is.

While I don’t doubt there are ugly parts of Jennifer Lawrence’s personality that might be unmasked after being forced to spend hours listening to Kyle Richards do her comedy voice, I don’t know that they would surpass the truly ghastly callousness of Ms. Jayne. Still, I’d be willing to watch and find out. What do you say, Jennifer Lawrence? Do you want to join the cast of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I have a pretty good feeling a spot might be opening up soon.