While participating in a viral TikTok challenge on Sunday, Gawker Person of the Year Jojo Siwa revealed that Candace Cameron Bure — of Full House, Fuller House, and strident Christianity fame — is the meanest celebrity she’s ever met.
(She also revealed in the TikTok that the celeb who did her dirtiest was Spongebob, but I believe those two have too much history and have weathered too many slime-splattering storms together to hold grudges, and I won’t do them disservice of rehashing it all in a blog post.)
Now I’m sure the most pressing question on your mind is: Under what circumstances could the entertainment industry’s foremost gay icon and the Hallmark Channel’s former top Bible saleswoman have possibly met? The one example I can find of Jojo and Bure interacting is a 2019 episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show. In a clip of the encounter, Bure, self-proclaimed “Hallmark Queen of Christmas” gives gifts to Ellen, Jason Aldean, and Jojo, ensuring that the tiny, multichromatic crooner has an extra big bow on hers.
Kelly gets a mug. Jojo gets cookie cutters and recipe cards for someone to bake for her on tour, because Bure has heard she likes sweet things. Aldean, wearing a Kelly Clarkson concert tee, gets one oven mitt. These are really good presents to forget about in a drawer and then re-gift to an acquaintance whose Christmas party you forgot you had to attend. Also, they’re all from her religious decor and Bible line, Dayspring.
Then the Salvation Army Choir performs, the yodeling offshoot of a notoriously anti-LGBTQ church, but none of this is quite adding up. Jojo receives a gift and barely speaks. So either those cookie cutters were laced with lead paint, or something of Ellen DeGeneres (may she rest in peace) proportions must have happened backstage to make the “Boomerang” singer hate D.J. Tanner’s guts. Bure’s two hobbies are Jesus and being friends with Jodi Sweetin, so that could be a good place to start sleuthing.
We’re praying for you, Cameron, because you do not want to go up against Siwanation.