There are lots of things to like about Daniel Craig. He was a great James Bond. He seems to be having a lot of fun in the Knives Out movies. He’s married to Rachel Weisz, making him half of New York’s hottest couple. We love the guy. As with all celebrities we love, we also imagine that they have all the right opinions all the time. Oh how wrong an assumption that was…
Craig went on The Late Show to promote Glass Onion, but it’s Thanksgiving week, so the holiday was bound to come up.
"We do celebrate it, and we have American friends as well," Craig told Stephen Colbert, noting that Thanksgiving is “probably” his “favorite holiday.” A likely story. Mr. Bond said he does like cranberry sauce, he took a different tone when asked about stuffing:
“I think… it’s an abomination.”
I am generally not in favor of deporting anyone from this country, but I am willing to make an exception here. This is an un-American mindset. Craig may have passed the civics test that allowed him to become a U.S. citizen, but he has not let the culture of our country seep into his bones. This beans on toast ass bitch clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Colbert tried to play along (while dying inside, no doubt), saying that stuffing is just “wet breads mixed with herbs” and Craig got too excited, adding, “And you stuff it up the ass of a chicken… turkey!" The man doesn’t even know which bird we roast on Thanksgiving. And he wants to say what is and isn’t good on the plate? That is the abomination here.
"I think it should be cooked separately," Craig said, trying to keep Homeland Security from banging down his door. "It's good, but I don't think you should bring it anywhere near the bird."
So it’s bad because it goes in the turkey’s butt? Gay panic, much? Does he know that you can add in sage sausage, celery, and onions, bake it all in a casserole dish and have a dining experience that can only be compared to Zeus eating ambrosia? Probably not.
Last year, when Gawker ranked every Thanksgiving dish, stuffing came out at No. 1. Former Gawker writer Tammie Teclemariam, who is now New York Magazine’s diner-at-large by the way, said that stuffing is “the only thing on the plate that is good by itself.” She was right then, and she’s right now. We are calling for a formal apology from Daniel Craig, and will take it in the form of him taking us all out to dinner and footing the bill. Stuffing for everyone!