Concerning the Jubbly, I’ve dealt with many a snubbly. There was the time the Queen got called “girl.” And when Harry got sent to the Hague – what a horrible ordeal. Or even when the famous and notable blog Hollywood Unlocked reported that Lilibet died. Not great for national morale.
But never in my life have I felt more disrespected than when I found out this morning that British Vogue’s April cover story is called “Platinum Queen” in commemoration of the Platinum Jubbly, and – get this – the Queen has to share the cover with pretend-chess savant Anya Taylor-Joy, allegedly “Hollywood’s Punk Rock Princess.” That title actually belongs to the always-fabulous Bella Hadid, who loves a leather duster , but that’s not even what I’m mad about.
A letter from editor-in-chief Edward Enninful (try saying that out loud in a British accent) parses Vogue’s double cover decision. We learn that the Queen’s cover features our Lady Lilibet in a 1957 official portrait “wearing the Diamond Diadem, originally made for King George IV, while – in a playful echo – actor of the moment Anya Taylor-Joy wears a replica for her own fantasy dress-up moment.” She also wears a platinum dress to go with her signature platinum-colored hair — do you get it, or does Enninful need to spell it out for you? “I am calling it: the colour of spring/summer 2022 is platinum,” he writes. Cute, but I’m too shocked, appalled, stroppy, and apoplectic at the disrespect to the real platinum Queen to appreciate his cheek.
“The history of the Royal Family and of this magazine have forever been intertwined. Both of them are changing,” Enninful closes out the letter, as if to suggest that Anya Taylor-Joy — and not Tidy Boy George — is the future of the Windsor monarchy. Well, I never!