“Coffee and love taste best when hot, that’s how we started and we won’t stop,” sings Real Housewives of Potomac star Ashley Darby in her marriage anthem “Coffee and Love.” It is with a heavy heart, however, that we must announce it is iced coffee season. Ashley Darby and Michael Darby, her absolute freak of an old husband, are getting a divorce.
“Almost eight years ago, when Michael and I said ‘I do,’ we anticipated sharing every single day together from that moment forward,” Ashley said in a statement to Bravo. “Unfortunately, that is not our current reality. We have decided to separate.”
Oh no. You might be quick to assume this is because he is about 100 years older than she is, cheated on her immediately after she gave birth, is mean, and is very creepy to the men in both the show’s cast and crew, and also seems to have no part in raising their two children. And that is why you shouldn’t assume.
“People will be quick to assume that the causes were too much intrusion by reality TV into the most personal parts of our lives, age gap issues, cultural problems, or child-rearing differences,” she said. “Pieces of all these may have affected our pure love for each other, but no one reason is the root cause of our mutual decision to go our separate ways.”
Instead, Ashley explains, it is because they are at “very different stages” of their lives (one closer to the beginning, one closer to the end) and have “very different goals” for their futures. Ashley did not mention whether one of Micahel’s goals for his future is finally sucking Juan Dixon’s dick, so we can only assume that may be the case.
Our hearts are heavy today. What else is there to say but, “baby, right from the beginning, we’ve been through thick and thin and now we’re back again.”
Indeed we are.