In his brief 28 years on Earth, Pete Davidson has accomplished many things. He is a comedian. He works on Saturday Night Live. And he has publicly dated several famous women, including Cazzie David, Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, and possibly someone else whose name I’m forgetting. (Oh! Phoebe Dynevor from Bridgerton.) With every close-up pap shot and red-carpet appearance he’s made with these beautiful women, his star has risen. Now, of course, he’s dating Kim Kardashian. And that’s bad, according to his friends, because he is actually a normal guy who doesn’t seek the spotlight.
In a deeply sourced Page Six story published this morning, Davidson’s “inner circle” expressed concerns about Davidson joining The Kardashians, his girlfriend’s recently rebooted reality show that features the family we all know and love with 200 percent more drone footage. According to Davidson’s team, if Davidson appears on the show, he will be giving up his hard-won reputation as a serious and private person. “Before he met Kim, no one knew what Pete was doing [all the time],” a source argued, and they’re right. Before Davidson started dating Kardashian, people only knew what he was doing roughly 90 percent of the time.
The source added that Davidson would not benefit from appearing on the show. “His career has taken off, what does he need this for?” they said, noting that he has a couple movies coming up. He also recently bought a Staten Island ferry boat with Colin Jost.
One of Davidson’s besties even warned that guest starring on The Kardashians could ultimately ruin Davidson’s life, because the Kardashian women are all unrepentant succubi who enjoy destroying the men closest to them. “It’s a sure way to kill the relationship,” the source said. “Getting involved in the show decimates every man.”
It is true that many of the men who have appeared on the Kardashians’ previous reality show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, have had their struggles in life. Tristan Thompson cheated on Khloé Kardashian several times, including when she was pregnant with his child, and unfortunately people found out about it. One time Kourtney Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend Scott Disick got so drunk that he punched a mirror in a Miami hotel room, and the cameras caught the whole thing. Are the Kardashian women to blame for these incidents? I guess Davidson can’t be too careful. Probably the best thing for him to do is to stop appearing in public with Kim altogether.