America Weeps as Trevor Noah and Minka Kelly Call It Quits
Flags will be at half-mast all week
Are you sitting down? For your sake, I hope so, because I come bearing some devastating news: Trevor Noah and Minka Kelly broke up. I know, I know, this is incredibly hard to hear. I’ll give you a paragraph break to take it all in.
If you can somehow still read this through tears, you should know that a source (undoubtedly someone from Kelly’s team) told People that the Friday Night Lights actress is “very single,” emphasis theirs. “She is very happy. She’d rather be single than waste her time with the wrong guy.” Okay ouch, that hurts to hear.
Kelly and Noah first started dating in the summer of 2020, and just a few months later they were already looking at houses together in Los Angeles. In May of 2021 they broke up for the first time, only to reconcile by June, just in time for Hot Vax Summer. But now they are officially over; according to People’s source, the pair have been “broken up for a while.” Flags across the country are expected to fly at half-mast for the next week.
While we all mourn, it might be helpful to reflect on some of the better times. If you feel so compelled, feel free to cue up Green Day’s emotional masterpiece “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” as we take a trip down memory lane:
Let’s never forget the time Trinka “kept things casual and low-key” while taking a walk in New York City with Kelly’s dog Fred. Or the time, a few months before that culture-remaking promenade, when they took a different stroll through New York City. Or when Kelly went with Noah to his native South Africa for a vacation and called it “the holiday of a lifetime.” These are the things we are losing with the tragic end of this relationship.
To Kelly and Noah, I offer these sage words from Billie Joe Armstrong: It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life.