Cinephiles have noted that once the mid-budget film disappeared, so did erotic thrillers. Long gone are the Basic Instincts and Fatal Attractions of youre. In their place, we are forced to get our rocks off to the mere simulacra of the titillating classics of the ‘80s and ‘90s. 50 Shades of Gray is three children in a trench coat compared to Adrian Lyne movies. Perusing recent cinematic offerings, you’d be forgiven for thinking the erotic thriller was dead in the ground.
Until today. That is because today we were blessed with something so sexual, so terrifying, so exciting, that it’s shocking that Michael Douglas has no involvement.
I am speaking of Adam Driver’s new commercial for Burberry Hero, a cologne I imagine smells like musk and confusion. Watch the ad below, and we will regroup after.
Did you watch? It’s imperative that you watch, because I will be spoiling its Shyamalan-esque twist in mere moments.
The plot of this short film is that Adam Driver must sprint into the ocean wearing pants. FKA Twigs’s “Two Weeks” is playing. If you’ve asked yourself, “Why,” at any of this so far you are missing the point. Don’t overthink it. In the ocean, he’s joined by a beautiful horse. The two swim with one another, and there’s a palpable connection between man and beast.
As they swim together, their two souls become one before the ad’s horrifying final moments. (In terms of the emotional stakes, this is the scene in Unfaithful where Richard Gere picks up the snow globe.) Suddenly, briefly, we see that Driver and the horse have literally become one, and the Girls actor is now a centaur. Or rather, Driver and the horse have joined in a union to become a centaur together.
I tip my hat to the creative minds of Burberry for pushing the form, and creating a piece of art that horrified, titillated, and shocked in an era where most people are more comfortable with the vapid, mindless content that masquerades as cinema.
What a shame that Cannes has already passed and the Palme d’Or has been awarded. The Venice Film Festival is coming up though, and in my eyes there is only one contender for the Golden Lion.