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Hearing a trans person calling Presidential candidate Ted Cruz “very nice” is like hearing a seal wax ecstatic about her new shark buddy. But the former scenario has happened, at least once.

Cruz, you see, is virulently anti-trans. He described the Obama administration’s support of trans students as “lunacy” and mischaracterized it as “trying to force [school districts] to let boys shower with little girls.” He has said that it’s better to “inflict” trans students on teachers by allowing them to use faculty bathrooms, as opposed to those shared with their peers. He seems... Hmmm, what’s the phrase? “Hazardous to the notion of equality”? “Hellbent on putting the LGBT community in its place after getting freaked out by the SCOTUS’s passing of marriage equality”? At the very least, he seems not very nice.

According to Caitlyn Jenner, though, Ted Cruz is very nice. And we just got word from the seal that her great white friend “just invited me over—into his mouth! I’m stoked!”

To The Advocate, Jenner revealed that she wants to be Cruz’s “trans ambassador” should he become president. Here’s the relevant excerpt from Dawn Ennis’s Jenner profile:

Jenner reveals she met Cruz prior to her transition, more than a year ago, “and he was very nice.”

“Wouldn’t it be great, let’s say he goes on to be president,” she tells me in relating a conversation on the tour bus. “And I have all my girls on a trans issues board to advise him on making decisions when it comes to trans issues. Isn’t that a good idea?” she asked me.

“You’re going to be Ted Cruz’s trans ambassador?”

“Yes, trans ambassador to the president of the United States, so we can say, ‘Ted, love what you’re doing but here’s what’s going on.’”

She wasn’t joking.

Jenner is a Republican and has much faith in the party that has been notoriously anti-LGBT, whether by conviction or as a way of pandering to idiot voters. It’s bigoted either way. Regarding her Republican status, Jenner told Ennis:

Number one, if we don’t have a country, we don’t have trans issues. We need jobs. We need a vibrant economy. I want every trans person to have a job. With $19 trillion in debt and it keeps going up, we’re spending money we don’t have. Eventually, it’s going to end. And I don’t want to see that. Socialism did not build this country. Capitalism did. Free enterprise. The people built it. And they need to be given the opportunity to build it back up.

That sounds about as idealistic as convincing Ted Cruz that trans people are people too, or to at least stop spouting his hateful bullshit. Good luck with that, everyone. Have a great time on your date, seal.

On yesterday’s Today show, Jenner said, “I sit on the Republican side, and when we do get a candidate, I certainly will talk to them. I admit that the Democrats, as far as trans issues, are better than the Republicans.”

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