Bob the Builder’s Favorite Drinking Game and More of the Best Articles Wikipedia Deleted This Week
When the faceless editors of Wikipedia decide an article is not fit for public consumption, it’s gone, only accessible to the site’s top editors—at least, it was. But now, we’re back sucking up all the articles Wikipedia doesn’t see fit to print, giving you the very best of what the site’s weirdest and worst. Enjoy.
Stump (game)
Stump is the drinking game that Bob the Builder would play if he were a drunk. This is because, as this video can attest, Bob the Builder is likely a paranoid schizophrenic who, if he were drunk, would almost certainly turn on the inanimate objects that so readily plague his day with inadequate craftsmanship.
To play Stump, one needs a hammer, nails, beer, and of course, a stump. With the nails lightly jammed into the stump, the players stand behind their own respective nails, toss the hammer back and forth, and attempt to pound other players’ nails immediately upon catching the hammer. Whoever’s nail has been attacked then drinks an amount proportionate to the damage inflicted on their nail. If that doesn’t totally make sense, here is a video of some nice gentlemen playing Stump:
Best line:
The exact place of origin is vague, but evidence suggests it was likely invented somewhere in Bavaria, possibly hundreds of years ago.
I would love to know what hundreds-of-years-old evidence points to Bavaria as this game’s place of origin.
Why it got deleted:
Ostensibly because the game lacks any sort of notoriety, but more likely because these guys are insufferable:
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Bob the Builder deserves to blow off steam, too.
Unknown Caller (film)
Unknown Caller is a short horror film that is probably committing a fair number of copyright violations.
Best line:
Olivia is home alone for the evening when her friend Drew prank dials her to give her a little scare. Silly Drew. Then!
Unknowingly to Olivia, a hooded figure holding a baseball bat sneaks up behind her and enters her house. She receives another unknown call, and her suspicion is raised when the man on the other end said he wasn’t Drew, but rather the last person she’ll ever see alive. Paranoid and afraid, Olivia runs back into her house.
Several issues are immediately apparent here. First, why do Drew and the killer have exactly the same voice? It’s not just Olivia being an idiot; watch above and listen for yourself. Drew is the murderer. Mystery solved.
The larger issue, though, is that “her suspicion is raised when the man on the other end said he wasn’t Drew, but rather the last person she’ll ever see alive.” Her suspicion is “raised.” Someone explicitly tells Olivia that they are about to murder her, and she just starts to think that maybe something is awry. A declaration of intent to murder should be an immediate red flag.
I hate to say it, but Olivia deserves to die.
Why it got deleted:
Apparently, this film’s entry along with several others were all created by the “director” himself, which is explicitly against Wikipedia’s rules. Also, Olivia deserves to die.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
We should all be allowed to learn from Olivia’s mistakes.
BAF Shaheen College Dhaka Green Thumbs
The entire Wikipedia page consists of the above image and nothing else.
Best line:
Why it got deleted:
Apparently, there used to be some other sort of content here, and Bangladesh Air Force Shaheen College Dhaka does, in fact, exist. However, an image of a beautiful green thumb alone apparently isn’t enough for the plant-hating editors over at Wikipedia.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Deleting this page is racist against people with green thumbs.
Non-cooperation movement of Bihar
Nothing on this page makes sense.
Best line:
All of it!
The first non-cooperation movement was held in 1814 at Palna (Bihar). The officials ordered lashings and came down heavy on the people. When they felt that the people could not be tamed by physical force and they started the method of ‘divide and rule’. The government enhanced the salary of higher officials like dewan, etc., and asked them to show loyalty to the British government.
Why it got deleted:
According to Wikipedia’s editors:
It is not clear what this article is about.
Additionally:
I’m not sure what this article is about, either.
Or put another, significantly more rude way:
Unreferenced, rambling POV piece.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
The author should be applauded for exercising unconventional narrative methods rather than rote compliance to such outdated rules as “grammar” or “general readability” or “facts.”
Mellabes
Mellables Iron is an Israeli “rock singer.” According to the author of the article who was almost certainly Mellabes himself, Mellabes has “worked with the biggest bands,artists [sic] in Israel.” Congratulations to Mellabes.
Best line:
The best line is not so much a line as it is this photo:
Why it got deleted:
There is essentially no real information about Mellabes anywhere else on the internet, whether in Hebrew or otherwise—though he does somehow have several music videos. His songs are also terrible.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
Oppzo
Best line:
The entire article consists of one line:
Oppzo is an online home improvement store operating from Silicon Valley, California. It was created in 2014. The business site has been proven reliable and safe.
The business site has been proven reliable and safe.
Using Oppzo’s logic, it’s advisable to go up to police officers at random and declare, “Hello, Officer. I have definitely not committed any murders today. Nothing to see here, and good day.” It’s so they know you’ve been proven reliable and safe.
Why it got deleted:
No one has ever heard of Oppzo before and likely never will.
Why it shouldn’t have been:
It says right there: Proven reliable and safe!
